Cut, and... moving on!

THIS is incredibly frustrating. I have not been able to get online for more than a day now, and I am so itching to write, so at the moment I am writing in my Text Edit mode and I'll save the doc and copy and paste it later. This is my final post on www.charmcitythemovie.blogspot.com - go right now to www.smalltimorethemovie.blogspot.com to read about how the screening of the rough cut went, and to continue to keep up to date with the progress of the project. It has been an incredible year, writing this blog... time to move to the next level. Thanks for reading, and please continue to do so on the new blog!!!!

~ Jeanie

And Miles to Go...

Sleep is not coming any easier to me, but I think it is just because my pattern is totally screwed up from going to bed in the wee hours of the morning for almost a week. Then I wake up when I have to, do things I have to do, then somewhere in the afternoon I can't keep my eyes open, fall out for an hour or two... I wake up refreshed, yes, but then I can't go to sleep until 4 or 5am again! This is getting me a little nuts.

It is nerves, too. I picked up the burned DVD from Charlie (God bless 'im) this afternoon and watched it straight through to make sure there are no surprises. There was only one word of dialogue that wasn't on there, and I am sure it is something that I accidentally deleted or pasted over while I was editing and is not a big deal at all.

I don't really know how to describe how I am feeling now. I feel like I should be saying things like, "relieved, happy, satisfied," etc. And I am certain I am all of those things, but I don't really feel them. I think I am just spent, an empty vessel, and I have to relax and wait for my reserves to fill back up.

Watching the movie on a 42" screen was way different than watching it on my laptop. I was afraid it was going to look worse, but it was actually more forgiving.

I write this blog because I want to be able to read back on my own experience later (because it is way too much to remember now), and I also want to give people who are interested in maybe doing the same thing, or just interested in hearing about the process, an inside look at how it all really happens. Sometimes I have committed the sin of omission about some of the bad things in order to keep the peace with people, or not be overly discouraging, or just because during the process I didn't want certain people (like my investors) to worry that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

I'm having one of those moments where I am considering censoring myself, but I think I'll go ahead and speak honestly, because several people I consult with regularly promise me that what I am feeling is normal and natural (and because the movie is really, truly in the can now, and it all worked out just fine).

The truth is, when you have spent literally several hundred hours poring over about 50 hours of footage - think about that, approximately three THOUSAND minutes of footage - and have to narrow it down to (currently) one hundred and three minutes... pardon my french, but you get pretty freakin' sick of looking at it. Think of your favorite joke, or song, or, hmm, scene in a movie, and then repeat it, listen to it, rewind and watch it at least 50, if not 100, times. Is it still funny, poignant, touching, or whatever you used to think it was? I think the word I am looking for is, "desensitized".

So I was pleasantly surprised when I watched the movie straight through today, and in the immortal words of my dear friend Tom Kyte, thought to myself, "This does not suck." Still needs a lot of massaging, but I am confident I am not going to embarrass myself, anyway. But I am still pretty sick of looking at it. And now I don't have to for EIGHT WHOLE DAYS! I am very excited about that.

I think why I am not dancing with joy, though, is because I am ever the hostess, and I will not be able to relax until next Saturday when I see with my own eyes that everyone who says they are coming to the screening actually arrives, and then see that they are having a good time and enjoy the movie, and then come to the reception afterwards. It is just the way I am. I know that all of those things will happen, but I won't relax until I see it with my own eyes.

It will. And when it does, I am going to DRINK my FACE off.

To Thine Own Selves Be True

I feel like I am waiting for the weight to lift from my shoulders. It is just sort of perched there now, no longer bearing down on me, but not exactly lifted either. I don't think I will be able to completely relax until tomorrow evening, after I pick up the compressed/rendered, burned DVD of the rough cut of the movie from Charlie, and then watch the whole thing through to make sure nothing is wrong. I mean, there is still going to be lots of things wrong with it, it is a rough cut. But I mean, I want to make sure none of the scenes that I have put together so far have done anything weird, like today when two of the songs that I had laid in mysteriously disappeared and I had to do the work all over again. I am sure it is something that I did wrong, which is why I was anxious to hand it off to Charlie, as it is far less likely (knock on wood) that he will screw it up.

On the way home I was driving past Belvedere Square, which is a mid-point between my place and Charlie's. I had not stopped in Grand Cru, owned by my friend Nelson, for some time, and I thought to myself, why wait to get home to celebrate? I didn't think he'd be there but I actually caught him in, shared some wine, invited him to the screening, and caught up a little bit.

On the way out I picked up a couple bottles of Framboise. Oh my GOD do I love this stuff... perfect to raise a glass to at home, by myself, while I let out an enormous exhale... which is exactly what I am doing right this very minute.

I may actually even sleep well tonight. I have not been able to drift off before 4:00am (and usually 5:00am) for the last 4 or five nights. Usually editing until at least 3:00am, then it takes me awhile to wind down.

It is such a mixed bag of emotions right now. Relieved, in that, as long as all goes well with the burn, I don't plan to do any work on the movie until after New Year's, giving me about two weeks to enjoy the holidays, friends and family, without feeling guilty that I am not working on the movie. It will be the first time I can really do that... well, in about a year! If the weather in the Poconos isn't too brutal, I want to get up there for a few days in the beginning of January, for once not to lock myself away and work my ass off, but to actually RELAX.

It won't be long-lived, though. I am happy with the rough cut, but it is that, rough, and there is still so much work to be done. The edits themselves, the cuts, need some finessing, smoothing over, drawing out some transitions so they aren't so abrupt, shortening others so they aren't so long they get boring, and I need to shave about ten minutes off the whole thing altogether, while somehow adding a scene that I wasn't able to finish in time for the rough cut. But the two things I am EXTREMELY anxious to do is the color correction and getting the music just right.

Music is weird. I have to watch more movies to see how it is really done well. The problem with watching movies is, for me, that I get so sucked into the story that it is hard for me to dissect it, to watch the cuts and transitions and lighting and angles and levels of conversation laid over background music, etc, etc... But I am kind of glad for that. I definitely see movies differently now, and I know I always will, but so far, making a movie has not completely ruined me for watching movies the way that growing up in the restaurant business ruined me for eating in restaurants for a very long time.

Now that I think about it, and actually HAVE THE TIME to indulge my stream-of-consciousness for the first time in... I don't know... skip back through my postings and you tell me... the difference is Baltimore.

My Dad owned and operated restaurants all my life, I grew up behind those scenes, and later waited tables and eventually managed a four-star restaurant in Washington, D.C (the Coeur de Lion, in the Henley Park Hotel). I used to make my Mother crazy because, just like my Dad, if we ate in a restaurant I had to sit with my back to the corner so I could observe (read: critique) every aspect of the room, the service, the presentation, and of course the food. I was constantly making comparisons, which at the time I think I enjoyed, but in retrospect sucked some of the fun out of it.

But movies are kind of different, or maybe it is just that I am different now, after having been in Baltimore for eleven years. I love eating in restaurants now, much more than I used to. I still notice things, I haven't unlearned anything, but it just doesn't bother me like it did when I was all my "Type-A" self back in D.C. I do see movies differently now, and I find myself talking about them constantly, dissecting them with other people who do the same thing. But I haven't lost the ability to get lost in a story. I do find it a little bit harder now, though, if it isn't a good story, well told.

I'm just... happier here, and I was pretty happy in D.C. Baltimore and D.C. are two completely different planets, though. Luckily, being a Gemini, I can appreciate them both for what they are. I am a business person, so one side of me relates to D.C., but I am also an artist, the side of me that relates to Baltimore. It took me a long time to be comfortable referring to myself as an artist in the company I keep here, because I know so many very, very talented artists. In D.C. it was easy to consider myself an artist, none of my friends were, really. They were all into politics, business. None of them wrote, painted, or even played an instrument that they ever mentioned. When I started making friends in Baltimore, I was so overwhelmed by the talent I met that at most I would consider myself to be "creative".

It has been a long journey, and I have had my hands in a lot of things since I have been here, but I finally feel I have found my voice, found what I was meant to do. I always liked the restaurant business, it came naturally to me, and that led to the hotel business, which did as well. But business is what I do, or rather, what I am capable of doing. Being an artist... that is who I am.

Mmmm, sexy...

I have spent more than 18 of the last 36 hours editing. I am on the verge of carpal tunnel syndrome and by tomorrow night (I have probably 8 to 12 more hours of work to do tomorrow before I turn it over to Charlie for him to compress, render, and generally wave a magic wand over the whole thing) I am certain my right hand will be nothing more than a shriveled claw, and I think I have developed a shoulder hump from sitting in front of this computer for so long. Yea baby, I am going to look damn hot for that screening at the Creative Alliance, lemme tell ya.

Can't blog...

...editing...

Continuing Education

As much as I like learning new things, it is also very frustrating to me, because when I am interested in something I want to know all there is to know and I want to know it RIGHT NOW. Never works that way, though.

I am well into the editing process now, though I only know the very basics. But as far as splicing the scenes together, I am getting the hang of that pretty quickly, and for the most part I really enjoy editing. Mostly because it doesn't involve scheduling a bunch of people whose schedules never match. I can roll out of bed and edit a scene or two in my pajamas, walk away from my computer whenever I am getting agitated and go right back to it whenever the mood strikes me. I have about 25 scenes edited so far (out of maybe 120), and ya know, I just keep on learning lessons along the way that will be oh-so-helpful if I ever put myself through the sweet, sweet hell of making a movie again. Which I am certain I will.

Such as, if ya gotta skimp somewhere (which you always gotta, unless you have an unlimited budget), skimp on the wide shots and NOT the coverage (singles/close-ups of individual actors). I did not know this. Wish I had. I kind of thought the opposite, that the whole, complete, wide shot was the most important piece of the puzzle, but it is really not. Watch any TV show or movie and dissect the scene and you will figure this out. You usually only see the wide shot for a few seconds at the very beginning, and then it is all coverage of the people speaking. Yet another lesson learned.

And a very, very, very important lesson -when the last second of the scene has ended, count to at least 3, if not 5, before yelling "cut". It helps enormously during the editing process.

And another thing, anyone who tells you, "Oh, you can do that in post," (a) usually isn't the person that would have to do that in post, (b) definitely isn't the person who will have to PAY for whatever-it-is being done in post, and (c) if they are the person who would be doing it in post, is just padding their paycheck. Your movie, ANY movie, will look better the LESS you have to do "in post". To see what I am talking about, rent a movie called (I think) "Duane Roane: First-Time Director". This stars Andy Dick (who normally, I hate). Having been through the process, every time he says, "We'll just do it in post," I about hit the floor laughing.

Lesson #381: Cutaways.
You can never have too many cutaways. You have, say, a scene where a guy is making breakfast for a woman who has spent the night. Say, this is the last scene you are shooting that day and you are behind schedule and don't want to go into overtime, and it is not a long scene so you do it, say, all in one take in a wide shot, maybe three times. When you go to edit that scene, say you see that in two of the three takes you can CLEARLY see the big fat light shining through the glass door to make it look like morning sunlight. So you are stuck with that one and only take that you can't see the big fat light in, which, say, wasn't even the best take that the actors did. But (a) you have no coverage and (b) you have no cutaways, that could have possibly covered the few seconds that you see the big fat light. The CORRECT answer would have been, instead of three takes of the wide shot, one take of the wide, and one coverage of each of the two actors, and a few extra minutes to film close-up cutaways of pouring a glass of juice, scrambling eggs in a pan, a fork moving eggs around on a plate, ANYTHING so you have something to cut to when an actor stutters for a split second or a BIG FAT LIGHT is in the shot.

Another thing that I don't think I have mentioned so far but have thought about/dealt with a LOT, between "Charm City" and "Juju" - make sure you have an Assistant Director. Now, I think that job title is extremely misleading, which is why I didn't have one on Charm City. An Assistant Director does not direct. If an Assistant Director (AD) starts directing, that person is overstepping his or her bounds. That is not their job. An AD keeps things moving, and if they are doing their job well, is often not very popular among the cast and crew. The AD's job is to make sure EVERYONE is where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there, if not 5 minutes ago. They are on the crew's asses to get the lights set up and camera ready, they are on props to have the set dressed, they are on the actors to be in makeup and wardrobe, and they are the one to "lock down" the set (i.e., to tell everyone to shut the hell up when the camera is about to roll).

I tried to do this all myself on Charm City, and it was extremely difficult. To this day I don't know if it was Michelle's idea or if her film crew took it upon themselves, but after the first 4 or 5 days, someone from the crew would pick up the slack and lock down the set, for which I was very grateful. I was so sick of hearing my own voice, and I am sure everyone else on the set felt the same way. As I am editing, I am especially aware of how stressed out I was at the time (which, thank goodness, I wasn't TOTALLY aware of in the middle of it all). It is apparent in my voice, and sometimes when the camera would catch me (Michelle likes to turn the camera on to the crew when we are running room tone), I looked so stressed, and to me, several years older than I am, and older than I look now when the weight of production is no longer on my shoulders.

Lesson, say it with me, learned.

I gotta roll now. Have to finish learning my lines for two scenes I have to do in Steve Yeager's acting class tomorrow. Plus Eric is showing up soon to set some things up to film at my place over the weekend. I used to have so much FREE time in my life before I got into all this. What the hell was I thinking?!? But, I kid... I've never been busier. But I've never been happier. I am finally doing what I believe I was really, truly cut out for, though just 2 or 3 years ago I could never have imagined doing this. It is a pretty awesome feeling.

Zone Issues

Today was very scary. It was the first day of a 2-part "Acting for the Camera" workshop I decided to take at the Creative Alliance. The only acting I have ever done, ever, was in my initial trailer for Charm City. That experience wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, and was kinda fun, but that is largely due to Sean being such a great director, and also I had been writing and rewriting all the dialogue for the last 2 years, so I knew the material inside-out. Today was nothing like that.

The class is taught by Steve Yeager, and one of the reasons I signed up for it is because I have heard his name a lot in certain circles, and I always see him attending or speaking at film festivals and such. Wednesday evening I got an email from him saying I needed to prepare a 2-minute monologue for class on Saturday. I couldn't get anywhere near that on Thursday because we were filming our last (if there is a God) day of pick-ups for Juju. I was meeting up with friends late afternoon on Friday, so that gave me only a couple hours to find or write something and commit it to memory.

At first I was going to do a bit from the movie "Beautiful Girls", when Rosie O'Donnell's character reads her guy friends the riot act about fantasizing about silicone-filled Playboy models and not giving "real" women a chance. It's a good little speech, funny but true, and a movie moment that sticks in my head, so why not? I found the monologue of it online very easily and had it down pretty quickly. Something was bugging me about it, though.

I ran it by Eric via email, he thought it was okay but used the word "feminist". Hmm. Nothing wrong with being a feminist, but those sorts of rants do turn off a lot of people, and I didn't want anyone tuning out due to the content, even if the context was funny.

So I dug a little deeper in my video collection, much of which is old Silver Screen stuff, and I wanted something more contemporary so it would feel more natural. I saw my VHS tape of "Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean." I love this movie, so much so that I also at some point bought the play script of it. I dug that up, too, and started flipping through it to see if there was anything I could use. I found the part where Sissy (played by Cher), the busty and boisterous sexpot of the group, comes clean about a secret that she has managed to keep for three years - she had to have a double-masectomy, and her husband that she liked to brag on so much left her in the aftermath.

I liked this one better for a lot of reasons. Once I started thinking about delivering my monologue from the side of the Director or Casting Agent, the "Beautiful Girls" piece just wasn't good enough. First off, I found it too easily, which to me says it is used a lot. When I attended the Stonehenge auditions (searching for cast for Charm City) in May, there were some monologues that I saw 5 or 6 times that day! When you do that, to me at least it says that you didn't put a lot of thought into your choice, you chose something safe, and you only end up having the casting agent (consciously or subconsciously) compare you against the other people who had the same monologue. And if you weren't the one who did it best, sianora.

Secondly, it didn't have much depth, and no range. Just straight up sarcastic comedy. While the "Jimmy Dean" piece started off with Sissy being very strong, a little angry even, then dissolving in her own vulnerability, but finally coming out on top and being able to laugh about it. It is really hard to find something that packs all that into 2 or 3 minutes! I ran it by Eric, and he liked this one better, too. "People like stories about boobs," he said. "Even when they're sad ."

I searched online and couldn't find it anywhere, so I copied the text from the script myself and got to work on it. I got it down in time for Happy Hour, and woke up this morning reciting it before I got out of bed, and over and over in the shower. I was as set as I was going to be.
So of course we didn't do monologues today. Seemed only one other person in the class got the memo. Oh, well. No biggie. Good practice for memorization.

There are several reasons why I decided to take this class. First off was the opportunity to work with Steve Yeager. Secondly, I felt it would help me with my directing to get the actors point of view (POV, for those of you looking to pick up the movie lingo :) ). Thirdly, I wanted just another taste of the acting thing for kicks, but mostly I took this class to push myself out of my comfort zone, which it surely did.

In almost any situation I am as cool as a cucumber, and in general I feel there's "nothing I can't handle". But my Achilles Heel has always been and continues to be public speaking, and I am determined to get over that.

Day One did push me, a lot. The first exercise we did is what Steve referred to as a "personalization". Just talking directly to the camera for 2 minutes, telling a personal (true) story about something that affected or changed your life. My classmates had some compelling stories, from drug addiction to first loves to near-death experiences. I talked about my father's death. I'll tell you what I told the camera.

My Dad died five years ago, of pancreatic cancer, at the ripe old age of 56. I was able to spend the last five weeks of his life with him. I was often trapped in his little two-room house in Florida, alone, for much of that time. I didn't have a car and relied on my brother to drive me back and forth to the hospice after he got off work every day. The house wasn't walking distance from anywhere, so all I could do all day was eat spaghetti and watch movies and football until my brother came to get me . I got so bored that I cleaned every square inch of the house. And in every drawer, in the closets and cupboards, manila envelopes in his filing cabinets and shoeboxes in his closet, I found Camel Cash - little "dollars" they used to put in every pack of Camel cigarettes. My Dad was a 2-pack a day guy.

I organized and counted them - eight THOUSAND dollars of Camel Cash. That is 160,000 cigarettes. At the hospice I asked, "Daddy, why do you have all this Camel Cash? Why haven't you traded it in?" Dad had gotten things like pool cues, leather jackets, ashtrays over the years by saving up these things. He said, "They started giving bigger prizes. I almost have enough saved for a trip to Vegas."

Of course, Dad never got to take that trip, because the cigarettes killed him first.

At this point in my personalization, both my voice and I were shaking and it was touch and go as to whether or not I would actually cry. But I wrapped it up.

I can't tell you how angry that makes me. But it made me more determined to live my life, the way I had already been living it, the way I will always live it: I don't wait for rainy days. I make things happen. I don't wait for things to happen to me. I make them happen.

That sentiment has everything to do with filmmaking.

Through the whole process of making Charm City, even when I was winging it, I was still in the driver's seat, and I had some great people around me as my safety net, so I was never completely at a loss. Outside of my comfort zone now and then, but nothing like today, standing alone in front of that camera. My voice was not just shaking because I was telling a sad story. I was just a big bundle of nerves.

When I finished my story, Steve stepped from behind the camera to put an arm around me and ask me if I was okay. So I think I did a decent job of being vulnerable. That is not the hard part to me, though. I'll talk about my Dad all day long and I don't care if I cry in front of people when I do. What is really hard for me is to do something in front of people, something that I don't know, and am not good at. THAT, to me, is being vulnerable. We did another exercise where we had to memorize a sort of "public service announcement". That was SO much harder, to me, than just telling a story that I knew. Mine was a "Vote Pro-Choice" commercial, and instead of saying "Hundreds of thousands of women have suffered the dangers of back alley abortions," I kept saying, "Hundreds of thousands of women have suffered the dangers of back YARD abortions." Like it's something you'd do at the neighborhood barbeque. Sheesh.

I felt very hot, like my face was turning very red, and my voice, to me, sounded as shaky as it had on the first test. But when Steve played back our bits to us, I was surprised to see that it didn't look nearly as bad as it FELT. I can't say that it was fun (though I am hoping that by next week it will be), but it served its purpose. I'm determined to conquer this thing.

Choices Made

If you think I was being a little bit of a baby the other day about the criticism of Charm City that I stumbled upon, I wouldn't necessarily disagree with you. I looked at it again, and it wasn't all that terrible, and had some truth to it. The larger part of my problem was not what was said but who said it, and the forum in which they said it. I won't waste any more time thinking about it, it is not that big a deal. It just caught me at a vulnerable moment so I may have overreacted a little bit.

You do have to have a thick skin in this business, as this stuff happens all the time. I try to be supportive of other filmmakers I have come to know, even if whatever they are creating is not really my thing. I learn a lot more (and accumulate more allies) by keeping an open mind than by ripping everyone else's work apart. I believe that there is no one that I cannot learn something from, though sometimes it is learning what NOT to do. But those lessons are equally if not more important than learning HOW to do things.

I know I made a lot of rookie mistakes on Charm City and I am fine with that. I would like to believe that 98.5%... okay, maybe 94.5%... of the cast and crew who worked on the film would willingly work with me again. And that's the other thing about this business, at least in Baltimore. You're going to end up working with people you are not crazy about if you do more than one or two projects, so the fewer lines you draw and enemies you make, the better. There might be cast or crew from Charm City that I would not hire again. But I will not always be in the driver's seat, there will be other productions (knock on wood!) like Juju that I freelance on and am not in charge of hiring or casting, and may find myself working side by side with someone not of my choice.

Anyway... I just finished three days of pick-up shots for Charm City. I think one more day and I will have everything I need. I need to get three of the actors together that day, and that has been tough, but we will get it done. They have been very cooperative and I am grateful for that. We really took our time with the scenes we shot this week and they look great.

Michelle wasn't available yesterday but my two lead actors were, so Eric filled in as DP for me so we could knock some stuff out. After we wrapped last night, Eric and I looked at a LOT of the footage from the 2 weeks of principle photography. I am really happy with it, all of the elements are there. The acting is great, the cinematography is sharp, and I have to say we had some stellar locations that combined make the film look even better than I had hoped for. I was initially worried about so much of the footage being shot in the interiors of bars, but now I think it will be fine, as it will be broken up with a lot of other stuff, and it is a well-balanced mix. We had three bars but they each have a different look and feel to them; five homes/apartments, which were even more distinctive - two very luxurious mansions, a warehouse apartment, a "masculine", straight-forward house, for lack of better description, and a more feminine, artsy house; our outdoor scenes (for which the weather was perfect) were very Baltimore - Federal Hill Park, Mount Vernon Square, and the War Memorial across from City Hall; also my friend Steve's house served as our Courthouse interior (and Steve as our Justice of the Peace), and Charles Lawrence's gallery in Fells Point doubled as Moxie Gallery. Those interiors were so rich and colorful, I can't wait to start editing those scenes. I am probably forgetting a few locations, but those were the main ones and I believe a good mix. We also have a few car scenes of conversations in moving cars.

What I am missing a lot of is single coverage, or close-ups of one person at a time. It is an ensemble cast and in some of the scenes there were sometimes EIGHT people coming and going from the same conversation. I'd still be filming if we did the wide shot and then shot singles of EVERYONE. So I had to make a lot of choices along the way of where I had to skimp on coverage to stay on schedule and under budget. These pick-up days have been nice because they were scenes that were important to get a lot of coverage and we took our time because we only shot about 2 pages a day. We averaged SEVEN pages a day during principle photography, and there were a couple days in there we did ten or eleven! But again, I think I have a balanced mix of scenes where I do and do not have coverage. And I myself LIKE scenes that show more than one person during the conversation. I think they help the actors to stay in character if they know the camera is on them. It is easy to let performance slip if you know it is someone else's close-up and you are not in the shot, plus it is easier, I think, for the actor not to OVER-do it if they are in a scene with someone else. Sometimes if they know it is their close-up, they ham it up a bit too much. And especially for a "talkie" with loads of dialogue about personal relationships, I like to see the body language of the person who is not speaking in the scene. I think in important moments that is just as important as focusing on the person who is talking.

So I can live with all of that. I find myself saying that a lot, now that I am in post. It's a good thing, because if I couldn't live with it, I still wouldn't have much choice in the matter. It is in the can and I only have a little bit of money leftover for post-production.

Well, I have to go finish putting together the schedule for Juju's pick-up days so I better get rolling. One more week of that to get through, then I can really concentrate on editing Charm City. Can't wait to really dig in.

Dealing with the Ex(es)

Pick-up dates are like old boyfriends. If enough time has passed, you kind of forget (or romanticize) the reasons why the guy/the production made you tear your hair out, and how you were so happy when it was over, and you kind of even look forward to seeing him/it again.

I am in the middle of trying to schedule pick-up dates for Charm City next week, pick-up dates for Juju the following week, scheduling some edit time for CC, and doing a little pre-pro reconnaissance for the Juju Director/Producer for his project immediately following the final wrap on Juju. Plus my "day job", so it is like I am working two full-time jobs at the same time. Oh, and there is a PBS crew filming some interviews for a documentary at my place right now. My stomach kinda hurts.

But it's all good. Scheduling is just a little bit of a nightmare for the CC pick-ups, more so than the Juju pick-ups. Since Juju's budget is several times the size of Charm City's, they could afford to hire actors who act for a living (and therefore, are often not working). Whereas on my little budget, I could only pay the actors what I call a "PIA" fee, which hopefully covered them for the money they spent on gas and wardrobe, so it didn't cost them money to be in my film (though for some, I know it did). But that means they all have day jobs (like me!) to pay the bills, and can't drop everything to film a few scenes. Still, I am hopeful we can all get together, and really I am looking forward to it. Now that I have another feature-length production under my belt, I feel a great deal more relaxed about the business, and confident in my abilities. It will take some patience, but I will get it done.

There are only a few actors that I need for the pick-ups (5 out of my dozen ensemble cast), and I am anxious to get together with them. I miss them, actually! All of them. I was so overwhelmed with responsibility at the time of principle photography that their weren't many moments that I was able to relax. But the cast had such great chemistry that they seemed to be laughing with each other all the time. It made me happy to see that, and it made me feel like I had chosen just the right actors. Life did seem to truly imitate art... imitating life... the way they all got along. But I was a little jealous at times that I couldn't join in whole-heartedly in the joking around. Just had too much on my plate. That's what comes with the territory when it is your project.

So, we'll see how it goes next week, with both the editing, which I am very anxious to get to, and the pick-up dates, which I am very anxious to check off my to-do list. Starting to think about what lies ahead. Do I start writing another script? I have one pretty well sketched out in my head, I think it would flow pretty quickly if I started putting it to paper. Or do I continue working on other people's projects? Am I down with OPP? Well, it is nice (a) to get paid and (b) to get SOME sleep. I may have the opportunity to do so soon. Adding some more credits to my resume would be nice, and especially since a lot of people who do this solely for a living can't always find a gig, it would probably be unwise to turn anything down, if I am to be serious, and taken seriously, about making a career change.

Productions really are like ex-boyfriends. I know some people don't get people (like me) who can be friends or friendly with there ex(es). And of course we all have those who screwed us over so badly that we never want to see them again (though usually those make for the most entertaining stories). But my philosophy about boyfriends is that I wouldn't have been attracted to them, I wouldn't have stayed with them for however long if they didn't have some good qualities, if I didn't have some fun with them, if I didn't care. So sometimes it is nice to see them again. And with the productions I've worked on so far, I definitely care, and it is important to put the finishing touches on them, to do it right. And like, with boyfriends, it makes it easier if you leave things on good terms, in the event that you see them again, say, at a local theater... :) Hopefully a local theater with your name in lights outside and a packed house inside!

"What is Past is Prologue"

Architect John Russell Pope placed four monumental statues around the National Archives Building. Each was cut from a single block of limestone weighing 125 tons. Aitken's "The Future" sits on the Pennsylvania Avenue side of the building. The young woman lifts her eyes from the pages of an open book and gazes into the future. Its base is inscribed with a line inspired by Shakespeare’s play The Tempest: "What is Past is Prologue."

Three weeks of "Juju" completed, and we are taking off a week to regroup, figure out the pieces still left of the puzzle, and schedule our pick-up days. Looks like we can get the last of it hammered out by the end of next week.

I have met some great people and great contacts on this job. The Writer/Director, Boyce, is quite a character. He is a perfectionist and refuses to cut corners. Most of the time he seems very serious, but once in awhile he just cracks me up. He is Nigerian, and has this great accent. On the set, Michelle (DP) is constantly asking him if he is happy (with the picture on the monitor, before she shoots it. I have heard him say more than once, "Happy as a LAAHK." It just seems so funny, coming from this big, stoic man! I guess you have to be there, though.

Stayce, the Producer, is a blast. She is the Voice of Reason, but she is also hysterical, and we laugh all day long. Which is a good thing, because the two of us are the ones that really never can have a full day off as long as this thing is still in production. Dealing with payroll, scheduling, location issues, budget, script changes, personnel... it never ends.

The coolest thing so far in this whole experience, though, has been the rewrites. There have been a few scenes we needed to change drastically, and on the fly. I took the liberty of making changes to a couple scenes to expedite things, and printed them up for Boyce, as suggestions. I thought what I had written might at least help figure out how to streamline some scenes or make changes to keep continuity straight, but Boyce liked the pages and kept them as I wrote them, and we shot them. I was expecting the actors to grumble about having to learn new pages in a day or two, but they seemed to like them, too (or else they are just realy good actors!).

Watching this unfold before my eyes was very different than watching my words come to life on the set of my own movie. At first I couldn't figure out why it felt so different, or what it was that felt so different about it. But it is dawning on me, and I suppose what it comes down to is control. It WAS very cool to make my own film and do it exactly the way I wanted to. But I had full control of that project from beginning to end, so of course it was going to go pretty much as I had envisioned it. But this film, "Juju," is not my baby. It is someone else's. And they approved what I did and incorporated some pretty good-sized chunks of my writing into the body of this piece of work. They could have dismissed it, or used part of it, or used only the gist of it, but they used it intact, and it worked. It is a good feeling, and it gives me confidence that I will eventually do what I have set out to do in this business primarily - to write.

The overall experience of being Production Manager on this project has been great, and such an education. I have been at the same hotel management job for going on eleven years now, and in that business for two decades. Hotel management is often crisis management, but I could do it in my sleep. I know I can have a job in this industry for the rest of my life if I want it, and there is some security in that. But there is also INsecurity in that, when you have been doing something for so long, and you start to wonder if you will be restricted to doing that and only that for the rest of your life because you have been doing that and only that for so long. You (and by "you" I mean "I") don't really know anything else, and you don't want to start at the bottom in something else. Between filming "Charm City" and being PM for "Juju," I am reassured that my skills in crisis management have not diminished, and I have been happily surprised at how well the skills I honed in my first career are carrying over into my (hopefully) second. I didn't go to school for hospitality management, and I have worked with and trained a lot of people who also did not and went on to do great things in the business. Often they were (mistakenly) convinced that they would at some point need to get a degree in the field if they were to move up. But I always told them, in the hotel business, you can go pretty damn far if you have three things:

!. Common sense,
2. personality, and
3. a willingness to pay your dues, in advance. In other words, never letting the words, "That's not my job," pass over your lips.

The same rules apply to film production, though more specific aspects of the field (writing, directing, camera work) call for more specific skills. But every day my confidence increases that I can have a successful career in this industry, doing what I was meant to do all my life - to write.

For now, the hotel job pays the bills while I learn the ins and outs of production. Then, soon, hopefully the production jobs will keep rolling in to pay the bills while I get my foot in the door with writing. Once I get my whole LEG in the door, I'm going to kick some ASS.

Triple Threat

Week 2 of Juju under the belt. Still had our bumps and bruises, but all in all things are smoothing out. I'm still working on figuring out exactly what niche in this field I would like to end up in, but Production Manager seems to suit me pretty well. I work best when I have a variety of tasks, a lot of responsibility (and leeway), and crisis mode, as much as it seems to suck while I'm in it, is where my brain is clicking rapid-fire. I have a good feeling at the end of the day when I can say, "We really pulled that one out of the fire." On a low-budget indie movie set, that happens more days than it doesn't. It is definitely a team effort, though, and I enjoy that aspect of it, too.

Last night we shot this very cool nightmare scene in my attic. The scene called for three children, so I called my aunt and uncle to let me use my little cousin Sean (who was in "Charm City" with his brother Joey) again. Joe is a little too old for what we were looking for, so Irene (my aunt) called some of Sean's friends parents and got me two little girls from Sean's class as well. Kids and dogs can be very tricky on the set, but so far I am three for three, in a good way. Sean and Joseph did a great job in their scene in my movie, my dogs and my neighbor Philip's dogs got their scene in "Charm City" perfect on the first take, and last night went with Sean and his friends went pretty perfectly.

It is very hard for little ones, if you can get them relaxed enough to not be scared or embarrassed, to do certain things like not look at the camera or not smile if it is a serious moment, but all three kids did very well. They are at an age where they are scared of ghosts and when they first got here they were afraid of the attic before they even saw it. But we let them play pool and eat lots of junk food for awhile first and then they were fine and bored and wanted to shoot the damn thing already. Sean had to move these large white pillar candles around very slowly from behind a shelf. He was backlit so it looked very cool and creepy, but because there was so much going on, lots of lights, and about a dozen other people standing in the room, he wasn't scared. Kyleigh, one of the girls, had to rock a (fake) baby while sitting in a dilapidated rocking chair, and silently and without smiling offer the baby to the lead character, Jake. She is such a sweetie, it was hard for her to do without smiling, but we got it. Also, the baby is actually a rubber model of a full-term fetus and it weighs at least 7 pounds. That is pretty heavy for a little girl, but she was a trooper. She would hold the baby out to Jake, and sometimes no one yelled, "cut," so she would just keep holding it until her little arms were shaking from the weight and I would tell her to put it down. The other little girl, Colleen, is a cutie with long red pigtails. She was a champ. When the other two got the giggles, she managed a straight face and took direction from Michelle, whom she had never met before, perfectly. She had to stare down Jake and be the creepiest of them all. It is amazing what lighting can do, change a sweet little girl with freckles into something from a terrifying nightmare! But it also took a lot of concentration on her part and it looked SO COOL. It is definitely my favorite scene that we have shot of this movie so far.

So in the last two months a lot has happened in my attic. A crazy woman of the Victorian era has chopped off a man's head with an axe, a greedy narcissist is visited in his nightmares by demonic children, and in between, a sassy middle-aged artist rediscovers her creative side and rebuilds her studio. Similar scenes have played out all over this building. When these three movies are completed, I want to watch them as a triple-feature. That will be a great lesson in the versatility of a location like this, and how lighting, acting, and the script can totally change the mood of the same room.

But today is Sunday, our day off, and I get to watch FOOTBALL!!!! I am so excited. Except I fear that I am not going to be able to see the Steelers game (die-hard Pittsburgh girl here, that is the "Steel" in "Steel Corset Productions") since they are playing at the same time as the Ravens, and I only have regular cable. At this point I'll take anything that can distract me from anything movie-related for a couple hours. Cuz then I gotta get back to work this afternoon/evening and map out our last week and a half of production, as there are several locations in flux. It will all work out, though, it always does. One more week and I'll have all these people out of my house! Then we move to the studio in Beltsville for a few days. Like my film, we had to add another three days of filming onto this one. So next time I plot and plan out a feature length production down to the minute and think I have it perfectly, reasonably scheduled, I will then scrap the whole thing and add three days to whatever I came up with at my first pass.

Gotta go spend some snuggle-time with my dogs before starting the day. Haven't had nearly enough of that in the last three months!

No time for love, Doctah Jones

Just finished Week 1 of production on, "Juju," so I have not had a lick of time to touch anything having anything to do with, "Charm City." But that is good, gives me a month or so away from it to get some perspective before attempting to edit or even to schedule the 2-3 days of pick-up shots that I need to complete photography. We have two more weeks on Juju, possibly even a little longer. Then one of the actors I need for pick-ups for Charm City is out of town until the second week of October, which I am actually glad for, I really will need a break after this.

Every production is its own education, and I am learning something new every day, especially about SAG (Screen Actors Guild) rules and payments. There are seven SAG actors on Juju, and about a dozen non-union actors. Although the paperwork can be a pain, if you are an actor, which is not the most secure job path in the world, I can see why actors work hard to get into SAG. Among other benefits, SAG actors get overtime after 8 hours on the set. Non-union actors usually get a flat rate, no matter how long the day goes - Wednesday we shot for NINETEEN hours. One of my non-union actresses is pretty sick right now, but she's not in the hospital because since she is a working actress, and non-union, she has no health insurance. It is such a difficult way to make a living. There is really nothing glamorous about it.

Which is true for most if not all jobs having to do with filmmaking. It is a lot of hard work. But when it is all said and done, hopefully you have a great piece you can be proud. I don't have children, but I think making a movie is a lot like what I have heard about childbirth - it is a pain that you forget. When you are in the midst of it, you may find yourself wondering why you thought this was a good idea, swearing you will never do it again, and possibly demanding pharmaceuticals at the top of your lungs to help you get through it. But then you have this beautiful creation that you had a hand in manifesting, and you start thinking about doing it all over again, because you only remember the good stuff.

At least that's how I HOPE it works. I'll let you know when my movie is done!

Post Time

I am so exhausted. I was driving today to return some of the gorgeous artwork that I had on loan for the production from Oletha Davis, Linda DePalma, and Ellen Burchenal, and I found myself wondering, "Why is my car going so slowly?" The answer to this question was, "Because you need to exert energy to press down on the accelerator pedal." Even that was an effort. I went to my friend Christie's going away party tonight - for five minutes. I just have nothing left for anyone until I can recharge my batteries for a few days. Tomorrow morning I head to Mikey's cabin in the Poconos to do just that.

Last night was the Wrap Party at the Wind-Up Space. Beforehand I took Michelle Farrell (Director of Photography), Michael Bordenick (Executive Producer), and Eric Thornett (Production Consultant, Touchstone, Sounding Board and Junior Therapist) to dinner at the always outstanding Prime Rib. I cannot describe to you how nice it was to relax for that little bit of time, and to be in such good company. I could not have survived this without all three of them keeping me sane. I feel so much lighter today, such a weight off of my shoulders. Of course, that may just be that floaty feeling I get from sleep deprivation.

The party was so much fun. Tucker and the boys rocked it out while we screened some raw footage (thank you Greg Almond!) on the big screen behind them. The Wind-Up is such an awesome place for just such a party, and for filming on location as well. It was cool to see footage of scenes we shot there playing on the wall in the very same space! I think the actors especially appreciated being able to see some of the work they had done come to fruition. It takes so long to edit a feature-length, I was glad to give them a bit of immediate gratification, and it was really fun for me also.

Later in the evening, from out of nowhere I was presented with a beautiful cake decorated with a "slate" that had "Charm City" and my name on it, a card signed by members of the cast and crew, and a gleaming golden, "Oscar", also with my name on it. I was astounded. Some people hate surprises or surprise parties. I love them. I have thrown several for other people, and I know how much planning and thought goes into anything like that. It meant the world to me that my crew and cast would be so thoughtful about doing something nice for me after I had worked them so hard for weeks. It was a moment of overwhelming satisfaction, appreciation, and just plain happiness that I shall never forget, and I thank every one of them from the bottom of my heart for giving me that moment and that memory.

I have learned so much in the last few weeks (and months) and I have so much still to tell you about, but I want to leave it there for now, I want to enjoy the feeling of this moment before rehashing everything that led up to it. It definitely had (and will continue to have, in post, I'm sure) its ups and downs, but for the most part it was simply an amazing experience, and the biggest challenge in my life thus far. That is no exaggeration. But here I am, smile on my face, and gratitude in my heart to all of the people who helped me to manifest my vision into tangible reality, I hope you are enjoying the moment with me. You deserve it.

Still Alive

And that is all that I have the energy to write. Last day of filming tomorrow. Wrap party Friday. 9pm-close at the Wind-Up Space, 12 West North Avenue. See you there...

Day One

This will be short, I am whooped and grungy and sweaty and I have the weirdest sunburn ever. On our first day of shooting we were outside all day. I had on a top with a wide-scooping neckline and was wearing a big clunky necklace and no sunscreen. Oh, well. The least of our problems today.

It was a long, rough day, but we all survived, and we actually got everything done except for one small scene that I can either live without or shoot later. So, now I know that if things are going well, we will easily make our days.

Al Letson got in today and unfortunately it was his scene we had to drop. But it was a great way to end my day to come home and get a hug from him. And Eric is on his way here and we'll probably go grab some dinner. Also I got to hang out with my little cousins, Joey (age 9) and Sean (age 7), because they were in one of the scenes. They were very excited about it, mainly because they got to say, "douchebag," close to four hundred times.

We experienced some setbacks with transporting the gear, which is too long of a story to get into, and the problem still isn't solved. But that is my priority tomorrow and we'll figure something out. The shots we did get done look gorgeous and I look forward to playing around with them in post-production. Michelle has a lot of great toys in her bag of tricks, and a good crew that knows how to use them.

We had a plethora of Production Assistant interns, many of them with little or no on-set experience, but everyone did great, did anything asked of them, and I did not hear a single complaint out of any of them all day. That is SO important on a set, and I think just in life in general. I like to surround myself with positive energy, and we have a whole lotta that going on. Even though it was a full 12-hour day, and though it wasn't brutal it was still pretty hot, and we had limited access to bathrooms, one of our interns, Dylan, said as we wrapped up, "this was actually more fun than I thought it was going to be." That's a pretty good sign in my book!

I was SO proud of my actors today. All that rehearsal time really paid off. They were completely off book, had their physical cues down pat, they were totally rock solid. There was a lot of focus on the things that went wrong, so I think maybe it went unnoticed that the actors really got everything right, but they did. They made my life a bit easier today and they should be proud of themselves.

Tomorrow we shoot the big finale scene and that will be another killer day. But then I hope (knock on wood) the worst is over. And that is pretty much why I planned the production schedule this way. Get the outdoor scenes shot first, in case of bad weather, we would have a chance to reschedule, and shoot the finale scene next so we don't have this huge day looming over our heads and stressing us out.

Everyone, especially the film crew, are tired dogs. But to me, for my first day of filming a movie, ever? I am quite happy with the outcome. In everything I do in life, if I am having a hard time or things aren't going my way, or tough decisions have to be made, I just ask myself, "Is anybody going to die?" The answer has never been yes. So, whatever the issues are, they can either be solved, or lived with. End of story.

Christmas Eve

That is kind of what it feels like to me right now. Call time is eight hours away. I really need to get to sleep. But I doubt I will be able to do so before 2:00am.

The great thing is though, I am feeling really good about everything. It was a long day of running around, a last minute trip to the Apple store, getting in touch with Al Letson who comes in from Florida in the morning to film his scenes this weekend, another trip to Sam's Club (this time for $600 - OUCH - but I got a lot of people to feed), read 62 emails and wrote 35 (I am not making this up), can't count the phone calls, met with most of my Production Team from 5-6pm, followed by dinner with my Film Crew and their load-in, followed by several more hours bouncing between them, wardrobe, catering, and delegating other production tasks. Michelle and her Film Crew tested their equipment and made sure everything is locked and loaded. Tomorrow morning we are making a movie! And I am actually SMILING about that for the first time in days!

I very much want to sit here and write for another hour or two, but I very much need to at least TRY to go to sleep. Lookig forward to getting Day 1 under my belt. Wish me luck.

Zero Hour

First call time is 21 and a half hours from now. "Stressed," is not nearly strong enough a word. My dogs are staying clear of me. Al Letson, who gets into town tomorrow morning, tells me to breathe deep. Michelle tells me not to worry. Eric says I am not allowed to cry until 1/3 of the movie is in the can. Which is perfect, because that will be our first day off on Tuesday (after we have filmed more than 32 pages in 4 days). So, now I have plans.

The Good, the Bad, and the Moronic

The Good: I am ecstatic to announce that Rebecca Clear Dean has signed on as the Production Manager for Charm City. Rebecca brings to the table a Theater Arts/Film degree from a university in New York known as Cornell. Heard of it? I think it is supposed to be a pretty decent school. Rebecca's decade of film production experience includes working with A & E on several documentaries, including biographies of Jack the Ripper and Richard Burton. Later she served as associate producer on Wall $treet Week With Louis Rukeyser at Maryland Public Television, which aired on PBS from 1970-2002.

I am also quite pleased to tell you that Ms. Jancy Lister will be the Catering Manager for the production. As if we needed another crazy redhead on the set! Between Jancy, Joyce Scott, and Michelle Farrell, all of their far-fetched (but true) Baltimore stories are going to make my little romantic comedy look like chump change.

More Good: I finished the tweaks, so we now have a shooting script. Which is fortunate, as we start rehearsals in 5 days and filming in three weeks!

Even More Good: I am meeting with several local artists on Monday who will be loaning their work to the production. More on that later...

The Bad: not much bad, really. Full steam ahead. The only Bad is really what people like Michelle, Sean, and Eric forgot to tell me about, and that is:

The Moronic: a.k.a., the Haters. These mostly come in the form of anonymous internet postings from people who live their little lives in front of a computer screen searching for things to belittle and begrudge. My filmmaker friends probably didn't mention them because I am sure they tuned them out long ago, which would be my advice to anyone as well. Funny enough, these people never follow up their remarkably insightful critique (***sarcasm alert***) with anything such as, "If you want to see something good, you can check out the project I am working on at www..."

No matter. This business is not for the thin-skinned, that is for sure. As an artist I know that I cannot grow and improve my work without constructive criticism. I welcome it from people whose opinions and work I respect. Collaboration is a big part of the process, and to me, a big part of the fun. But if you are someone who actually gets things done, there will always be jealous wannabes out there who will try to undermine you.

That doesn't mean it is always easy to hear the constructive criticism. But before I dismiss anyone's opinion, I ask myself two things: (1) Is this person talented and productive in their own right? and (2) Was their critique delivered with malicious intent and nothing more?

Crazy Jeanie's!!!!! Everything Must Go!!!!!!!

Many (well, 6 or 7) months ago when I was about to jump in with both feet, Consultant Sean posed some tough questions to me as I asked for his help. How far was I willing to go for this? Was I willing to max out my credit cards? Sell belongings? I said sure, but I didn't know if I meant it. It just seemed kind of... I dunno, a little crazy. I didn't want to end up living out of a van or anything just to make a movie.

But as I haven't thought about anything else for what seems to be a very long time now, selling stuff seems like no big deal, because I am not a materialistic person anyway. Clearing out my studio, I totaled up over $2000 of framing supplies alone that I had stockpiled. So I inventoried it and put it up on Craigslist. I've sold about half of it so far. Then I started digging into my art supplies. This morning I sold all my Sennelier Pastels & paper. Later this afternoon a college student is coming by to look at my drafting table. Last month I sold my entire darkroom set-up.

Now I am rummaging through closets and even starting to eye up furniture. What else can I get rid of? When ebay first started, I had a brief addiction to bidding on stuff, so this is like the opposite. It is kind of fun, but I have already learned to price things a little higher than I hope to get because the first thing Craigslist shoppers do is try to talk you down, even if it is the deal of the century.

If I can sell the table today, though, that will be about $700 for the week, and I still have more junk and supplies to sort through. That more than pays for what I had to spend at Home Depot to renovate my studio into my office (though it doesn't begin to touch what I just paid for this new computer...) It is good for my feng shui to get all this unused clutter out of here, I feel more focused already.

Lessons Learned

Note to self: Before starting next movie, have boyfriend (or at a minimum, boy toy) at my disposal for massage and other stress-relieving tasks.

I'm better today, but yesterday everything caught up with me and I was sore and exhausted from tip to toe. Last week I tackled the monumental task of ripping out my studio/frame shop down to the bare walls, painting every square inch of this 15 x 20 room including the painstakingly detailed trim (this entailed me sitting cross-legged in a deep windowsill for hours at a time), and reassembling it as my new office, or as I like to call it, my Movie Lair. It was well worth it, though. Now I have a bright, clean, huge, cheerful space to work in, and since I will be spending the greater part of the next six months in this room, it is highly beneficial that these surroundings are pleasant and comfortable. It has two 8-foot tables for my work space, a dining room table and chairs for meeting space, and of course, a Casting Couch ;)

It really did turn out great. The walls are a pale but sunny yellow, the trim a textured dark olive. That rug that I bought at Home Depot looks fantastic in here, the perfect colors. I arranged all my framed black & white movie star photos in a perfect balance around the room to watch over me while I work. These are the people from the movies I love most, Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant, Clark Gable, Greta Garbo, Jimmy Stewart, and of course, my absolute hero, Mae West. She is the only one in color in the room, a gigantic poster of her on a hot pink background wearing a black wide-brimmed go-to-hell hat.

In 1935, Mae West was the highest-paid woman in America. Some might say, "Yes, but not that many woman were in the work force in 1935." Well, that just makes it all the more impressive! She wrote most of the movies she starred in, and called all the shots regarding who she worked with. She hand-picked Cary Grant for her film, "I'm No Angel," (and often claimed to have "discovered" him, which he disputed). This is one of the rare (and it was the last) films where you can see Grant portrayed as the pursuer rather than the one being pursued. West, of course, gave herself all the best lines.

Having grown up in Vaudeville (she was known as "the Baby Vamp"), of course she had no college education, but she had savvy. She used all the natural weapons at her disposal, and combining her brains and her sexuality, who could have stopped her?

I think in a way she left herself behind to get ahead, and for all her groundbreaking success, she died in a rather lonely manner. But she was the first of her kind, and I don't think she can really be criticized for trying to uphold her own image of sexual and emotional independence. In those very early days of the industry, if she took her eye off the ball for a second, she might be at the mercy of the studios, as many actors (such as Grant) often found themselves, just to make ends meet and stay working. Can you imagine Mae West being reduced to playing a dumb blonde or a boss-chasing secretary? No way.

So here she is in my Movie Lair, smiling coyly over her shoulder, on a poster that bears her name OVER the movie title in letters four-and-a-half times the size (I measured) of Cary Grant's name BELOW the title.

In other words, "Get to work, Jeanie."