AAAAAAAND cut!... and Cutting, Continued

Finished my two-day acting workshop with Steve Yeager at the Creative Alliance on Saturday, and I am happy to say I'm pretty sure I rocked it out. The thing I was most nervous about was the monologue that I was assigned. It was a long piece, probably a good four minutes, and to be honest I wasn't crazy about it at first. But after I read it over about 10 times, the subtleties of it began to surface and I could finally see the meat on it, and the opportunity to show a range.

The great part was that the character started off as being very nervous, as did I! So I OWNED my nervousness. :) By the time I was halfway through the piece, at about the time the character calmed down, I hadn't stumbled once and I knew the rest, so I, too, calmed down, and was able to pull the rest off without a hitch. As soon as Steve yelled, "Cut!" he was laughing, and a few comments from my classmates let me know I had done a good job.

I was talking to my brother, Ted, on the phone last night about it. I told him it was really scary for me to do this, and he said, as most people who know me would, that he would never have guessed that about me. But it is true nonetheless. Through the entire process of making this film, through writing, receiving critique from colleagues and friends, putting myself out there to meet new people and make new contacts, negotiating contracts with crew, locations, etc, auditioning and casting actors, rehearsing with the actors, the whole circus of production, including directing the whole thing, NOT ONCE did my heart beat as hard and fast as it did whenever I had to get up in front of that camera for these past two Saturdays. I can honestly say I have never pushed myself so far outside my comfort zone on purpose.

But I am very glad I did. And by the time we were doing more scenes and exercises after lunch on the second Saturday, I was fine and my heart was only fluttering a bit, not the big, pounding bass drum it had been up until that point whenever Steve would say, "Action!"

My brother asked me if I walked away from the class with whatever it was I had been looking for. I said, absolutely. I pushed my own limits and allowed myself to be vulnerable at the same time. I got to spend some time with Steve Yeager, an award-winning Director and professor at Towson University. I put myself in the actor's shoes, and for that I will be a better director. And of course, I have even more respect for actors than I did before. I certainly wouldn't want to make MY living doing that. It's exhausting. I was emotionally drained by the time I got home, and compared to a regular day on the set for an actor, that class was chump change.

Tonight I am heading over to Charlie's for some more editing instruction. I have about 25 scenes edited, and it is going quite well, though I still have SO much to do, and I am trying to make a deadline now of December 19th to submit Charm City for entry in the Maryland Film Festival. It's going to be TIGHT. But I think I can do it.

Yesterday I didn't get any editing done. But I think I'll go to the Poconos this week and I can do double the work up there, cuz there is NOTHING else to distract me, until Mikey shows up with a box of wine. Yesterday I went instead to Harper's Ferry for the day with Eric, where he tricked me into climbing a mountain, a charge he vehemently denies. But, my blog, so that's the story I am sticking to. He needed some establishing shots there to use in his film, and it was a beautiful, crisp fall day, so why not? I minimized my guilt by listening to CDs of local Baltimore bands to see if I could find additional music for the soundtrack. I found a few things, too, so see, I was productive after all! Hurray for multi-tasking! My car is the only place I can listen attentively to music, and since I live in the building I work in, sometimes I will go for days without getting in my car.

So on top of all of the above, I am trying to schedule two more days of pick-up shots next week so I can close this thing out. Except for one scene I still need with my favorite skinny poet, Al Letson (www.alletson.com). If I don't see him in Baltimore by then, I may be road-tripping to Florida in February to see my brother, and I'll stop in Jacksonville on the way there or back and get the footage I need of Al. The things we do for art!

Gotta get ready for my meeting with Charlie...

Zone Issues

Today was very scary. It was the first day of a 2-part "Acting for the Camera" workshop I decided to take at the Creative Alliance. The only acting I have ever done, ever, was in my initial trailer for Charm City. That experience wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, and was kinda fun, but that is largely due to Sean being such a great director, and also I had been writing and rewriting all the dialogue for the last 2 years, so I knew the material inside-out. Today was nothing like that.

The class is taught by Steve Yeager, and one of the reasons I signed up for it is because I have heard his name a lot in certain circles, and I always see him attending or speaking at film festivals and such. Wednesday evening I got an email from him saying I needed to prepare a 2-minute monologue for class on Saturday. I couldn't get anywhere near that on Thursday because we were filming our last (if there is a God) day of pick-ups for Juju. I was meeting up with friends late afternoon on Friday, so that gave me only a couple hours to find or write something and commit it to memory.

At first I was going to do a bit from the movie "Beautiful Girls", when Rosie O'Donnell's character reads her guy friends the riot act about fantasizing about silicone-filled Playboy models and not giving "real" women a chance. It's a good little speech, funny but true, and a movie moment that sticks in my head, so why not? I found the monologue of it online very easily and had it down pretty quickly. Something was bugging me about it, though.

I ran it by Eric via email, he thought it was okay but used the word "feminist". Hmm. Nothing wrong with being a feminist, but those sorts of rants do turn off a lot of people, and I didn't want anyone tuning out due to the content, even if the context was funny.

So I dug a little deeper in my video collection, much of which is old Silver Screen stuff, and I wanted something more contemporary so it would feel more natural. I saw my VHS tape of "Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean." I love this movie, so much so that I also at some point bought the play script of it. I dug that up, too, and started flipping through it to see if there was anything I could use. I found the part where Sissy (played by Cher), the busty and boisterous sexpot of the group, comes clean about a secret that she has managed to keep for three years - she had to have a double-masectomy, and her husband that she liked to brag on so much left her in the aftermath.

I liked this one better for a lot of reasons. Once I started thinking about delivering my monologue from the side of the Director or Casting Agent, the "Beautiful Girls" piece just wasn't good enough. First off, I found it too easily, which to me says it is used a lot. When I attended the Stonehenge auditions (searching for cast for Charm City) in May, there were some monologues that I saw 5 or 6 times that day! When you do that, to me at least it says that you didn't put a lot of thought into your choice, you chose something safe, and you only end up having the casting agent (consciously or subconsciously) compare you against the other people who had the same monologue. And if you weren't the one who did it best, sianora.

Secondly, it didn't have much depth, and no range. Just straight up sarcastic comedy. While the "Jimmy Dean" piece started off with Sissy being very strong, a little angry even, then dissolving in her own vulnerability, but finally coming out on top and being able to laugh about it. It is really hard to find something that packs all that into 2 or 3 minutes! I ran it by Eric, and he liked this one better, too. "People like stories about boobs," he said. "Even when they're sad ."

I searched online and couldn't find it anywhere, so I copied the text from the script myself and got to work on it. I got it down in time for Happy Hour, and woke up this morning reciting it before I got out of bed, and over and over in the shower. I was as set as I was going to be.
So of course we didn't do monologues today. Seemed only one other person in the class got the memo. Oh, well. No biggie. Good practice for memorization.

There are several reasons why I decided to take this class. First off was the opportunity to work with Steve Yeager. Secondly, I felt it would help me with my directing to get the actors point of view (POV, for those of you looking to pick up the movie lingo :) ). Thirdly, I wanted just another taste of the acting thing for kicks, but mostly I took this class to push myself out of my comfort zone, which it surely did.

In almost any situation I am as cool as a cucumber, and in general I feel there's "nothing I can't handle". But my Achilles Heel has always been and continues to be public speaking, and I am determined to get over that.

Day One did push me, a lot. The first exercise we did is what Steve referred to as a "personalization". Just talking directly to the camera for 2 minutes, telling a personal (true) story about something that affected or changed your life. My classmates had some compelling stories, from drug addiction to first loves to near-death experiences. I talked about my father's death. I'll tell you what I told the camera.

My Dad died five years ago, of pancreatic cancer, at the ripe old age of 56. I was able to spend the last five weeks of his life with him. I was often trapped in his little two-room house in Florida, alone, for much of that time. I didn't have a car and relied on my brother to drive me back and forth to the hospice after he got off work every day. The house wasn't walking distance from anywhere, so all I could do all day was eat spaghetti and watch movies and football until my brother came to get me . I got so bored that I cleaned every square inch of the house. And in every drawer, in the closets and cupboards, manila envelopes in his filing cabinets and shoeboxes in his closet, I found Camel Cash - little "dollars" they used to put in every pack of Camel cigarettes. My Dad was a 2-pack a day guy.

I organized and counted them - eight THOUSAND dollars of Camel Cash. That is 160,000 cigarettes. At the hospice I asked, "Daddy, why do you have all this Camel Cash? Why haven't you traded it in?" Dad had gotten things like pool cues, leather jackets, ashtrays over the years by saving up these things. He said, "They started giving bigger prizes. I almost have enough saved for a trip to Vegas."

Of course, Dad never got to take that trip, because the cigarettes killed him first.

At this point in my personalization, both my voice and I were shaking and it was touch and go as to whether or not I would actually cry. But I wrapped it up.

I can't tell you how angry that makes me. But it made me more determined to live my life, the way I had already been living it, the way I will always live it: I don't wait for rainy days. I make things happen. I don't wait for things to happen to me. I make them happen.

That sentiment has everything to do with filmmaking.

Through the whole process of making Charm City, even when I was winging it, I was still in the driver's seat, and I had some great people around me as my safety net, so I was never completely at a loss. Outside of my comfort zone now and then, but nothing like today, standing alone in front of that camera. My voice was not just shaking because I was telling a sad story. I was just a big bundle of nerves.

When I finished my story, Steve stepped from behind the camera to put an arm around me and ask me if I was okay. So I think I did a decent job of being vulnerable. That is not the hard part to me, though. I'll talk about my Dad all day long and I don't care if I cry in front of people when I do. What is really hard for me is to do something in front of people, something that I don't know, and am not good at. THAT, to me, is being vulnerable. We did another exercise where we had to memorize a sort of "public service announcement". That was SO much harder, to me, than just telling a story that I knew. Mine was a "Vote Pro-Choice" commercial, and instead of saying "Hundreds of thousands of women have suffered the dangers of back alley abortions," I kept saying, "Hundreds of thousands of women have suffered the dangers of back YARD abortions." Like it's something you'd do at the neighborhood barbeque. Sheesh.

I felt very hot, like my face was turning very red, and my voice, to me, sounded as shaky as it had on the first test. But when Steve played back our bits to us, I was surprised to see that it didn't look nearly as bad as it FELT. I can't say that it was fun (though I am hoping that by next week it will be), but it served its purpose. I'm determined to conquer this thing.

Triple Threat

Week 2 of Juju under the belt. Still had our bumps and bruises, but all in all things are smoothing out. I'm still working on figuring out exactly what niche in this field I would like to end up in, but Production Manager seems to suit me pretty well. I work best when I have a variety of tasks, a lot of responsibility (and leeway), and crisis mode, as much as it seems to suck while I'm in it, is where my brain is clicking rapid-fire. I have a good feeling at the end of the day when I can say, "We really pulled that one out of the fire." On a low-budget indie movie set, that happens more days than it doesn't. It is definitely a team effort, though, and I enjoy that aspect of it, too.

Last night we shot this very cool nightmare scene in my attic. The scene called for three children, so I called my aunt and uncle to let me use my little cousin Sean (who was in "Charm City" with his brother Joey) again. Joe is a little too old for what we were looking for, so Irene (my aunt) called some of Sean's friends parents and got me two little girls from Sean's class as well. Kids and dogs can be very tricky on the set, but so far I am three for three, in a good way. Sean and Joseph did a great job in their scene in my movie, my dogs and my neighbor Philip's dogs got their scene in "Charm City" perfect on the first take, and last night went with Sean and his friends went pretty perfectly.

It is very hard for little ones, if you can get them relaxed enough to not be scared or embarrassed, to do certain things like not look at the camera or not smile if it is a serious moment, but all three kids did very well. They are at an age where they are scared of ghosts and when they first got here they were afraid of the attic before they even saw it. But we let them play pool and eat lots of junk food for awhile first and then they were fine and bored and wanted to shoot the damn thing already. Sean had to move these large white pillar candles around very slowly from behind a shelf. He was backlit so it looked very cool and creepy, but because there was so much going on, lots of lights, and about a dozen other people standing in the room, he wasn't scared. Kyleigh, one of the girls, had to rock a (fake) baby while sitting in a dilapidated rocking chair, and silently and without smiling offer the baby to the lead character, Jake. She is such a sweetie, it was hard for her to do without smiling, but we got it. Also, the baby is actually a rubber model of a full-term fetus and it weighs at least 7 pounds. That is pretty heavy for a little girl, but she was a trooper. She would hold the baby out to Jake, and sometimes no one yelled, "cut," so she would just keep holding it until her little arms were shaking from the weight and I would tell her to put it down. The other little girl, Colleen, is a cutie with long red pigtails. She was a champ. When the other two got the giggles, she managed a straight face and took direction from Michelle, whom she had never met before, perfectly. She had to stare down Jake and be the creepiest of them all. It is amazing what lighting can do, change a sweet little girl with freckles into something from a terrifying nightmare! But it also took a lot of concentration on her part and it looked SO COOL. It is definitely my favorite scene that we have shot of this movie so far.

So in the last two months a lot has happened in my attic. A crazy woman of the Victorian era has chopped off a man's head with an axe, a greedy narcissist is visited in his nightmares by demonic children, and in between, a sassy middle-aged artist rediscovers her creative side and rebuilds her studio. Similar scenes have played out all over this building. When these three movies are completed, I want to watch them as a triple-feature. That will be a great lesson in the versatility of a location like this, and how lighting, acting, and the script can totally change the mood of the same room.

But today is Sunday, our day off, and I get to watch FOOTBALL!!!! I am so excited. Except I fear that I am not going to be able to see the Steelers game (die-hard Pittsburgh girl here, that is the "Steel" in "Steel Corset Productions") since they are playing at the same time as the Ravens, and I only have regular cable. At this point I'll take anything that can distract me from anything movie-related for a couple hours. Cuz then I gotta get back to work this afternoon/evening and map out our last week and a half of production, as there are several locations in flux. It will all work out, though, it always does. One more week and I'll have all these people out of my house! Then we move to the studio in Beltsville for a few days. Like my film, we had to add another three days of filming onto this one. So next time I plot and plan out a feature length production down to the minute and think I have it perfectly, reasonably scheduled, I will then scrap the whole thing and add three days to whatever I came up with at my first pass.

Gotta go spend some snuggle-time with my dogs before starting the day. Haven't had nearly enough of that in the last three months!

Ask Not What Movies Can Do For You...

If you are reading this right now, there is one question you should be asking yourself: What can I do to help Jeanie make her movie better? Luckily, the answer is simplicity itself: you can be in it!

I still need many, many extras. The more the merrier. If you want to be in this flick, contact my Production Manager, Rebecca Clear Dean, IMMEDIATELY at rebeccacleardean@comcast.net. I especially need extras for THIS SATURDAY, August 2. SO get on board already! Bring your mom! Bring your friends! Bring a book! Filmmaking is a LOT of hurry-up-and-wait. But on the flip side, it is an opportunity to be immortalized!

My brain is so fried yet so clickin' at the same time. I am extremely stressed, but even more excited. I know that my entire team - film crew, actors, and production team - are well-prepared. Five loooong days of rehearsals with the actors, hours and hours of pre-production meetings with Michelle and her crew, and Rebecca and the interns and myself as well running all over town gathering wardrobe, props, permits, artwork for the finale... I still have quite a bit to do in the next 48 hours, but we are in pretty good shape.

All the tiny details, you wouldn't believe how long the list is...yesterday I went to two of my actors' homes to finish choosing wardrobe, plus pick up artwork from one of them...the housekeeper's uniform and the judge's robe that I ordered on the internet came in yesterday... the robe is cheap-looking because it has a bright silver zipper in the front that is not at all hidden, but that is why God invented gaff tape - it can fix ANYTHING. Got in touch with my friend who is loaning me the sweetest limo you ever saw for one of the scenes, and another cherry classic car for a different scene...made some tiny tweaks and put the final, FINAL lock down on the script - no more changes, it is what it is now. Realized I STILL need a hot latino guy for the finale, so I called my friend and investor Mikey B. to dredge one up for me. Mikey is a concierge and the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Manhattan, he can make ANYTHING happen! Hung up all the wardrobe from the actors who have handed theirs over to me and started sorting them. Made another run to Sam's Club, where I am maxing out my credit card $200 at a time. I have gone there almost every day for the last week, filling my car to the brim with soda, water, disposable plates and utensils, condiments, coffee, juice, snacks, etc. I have been stockpiling for weeks. OOPS, still have to order the flowers for the finale, MUST do that in the morning. And thank goodness my cousin Janet called me to volunteer to be an extra, she is making a cake for one of the scenes and I hadn't talked to her about it in months! But she's on it. Oh, I went to Utrecht art supply and bought $155 worth of black foamcore boards. Even better than duvatene (blackout cloth) for blacking out windows. Man, the money is FLYING out the door.

I really have a million things to do so I have to be going, but every day someone new tells me that they are actually reading this thing, so I don't want to leave you hanging just as we are getting to the good stuff! It is SO much work and I am exhausted fairly consistently, yet at the same time, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning I pretty much spring out of bed. Partially because there is so much to do, but mostly because I am excited to be doing it. The best part so far, though, has really been all the people who have come through for me. Every day the pot sweetens as someone throws their own personal contribution into it, whatever that may be... a location, a piece of equipment, their dad as an extra, a cake :), their time... their support. It means the world to me and keeps me going.

But right now what is keeping me going is the realization that if I don't get some laundry done tonight, I am going to have to go commando through this shoot. Peace out.