Continuing Education

As much as I like learning new things, it is also very frustrating to me, because when I am interested in something I want to know all there is to know and I want to know it RIGHT NOW. Never works that way, though.

I am well into the editing process now, though I only know the very basics. But as far as splicing the scenes together, I am getting the hang of that pretty quickly, and for the most part I really enjoy editing. Mostly because it doesn't involve scheduling a bunch of people whose schedules never match. I can roll out of bed and edit a scene or two in my pajamas, walk away from my computer whenever I am getting agitated and go right back to it whenever the mood strikes me. I have about 25 scenes edited so far (out of maybe 120), and ya know, I just keep on learning lessons along the way that will be oh-so-helpful if I ever put myself through the sweet, sweet hell of making a movie again. Which I am certain I will.

Such as, if ya gotta skimp somewhere (which you always gotta, unless you have an unlimited budget), skimp on the wide shots and NOT the coverage (singles/close-ups of individual actors). I did not know this. Wish I had. I kind of thought the opposite, that the whole, complete, wide shot was the most important piece of the puzzle, but it is really not. Watch any TV show or movie and dissect the scene and you will figure this out. You usually only see the wide shot for a few seconds at the very beginning, and then it is all coverage of the people speaking. Yet another lesson learned.

And a very, very, very important lesson -when the last second of the scene has ended, count to at least 3, if not 5, before yelling "cut". It helps enormously during the editing process.

And another thing, anyone who tells you, "Oh, you can do that in post," (a) usually isn't the person that would have to do that in post, (b) definitely isn't the person who will have to PAY for whatever-it-is being done in post, and (c) if they are the person who would be doing it in post, is just padding their paycheck. Your movie, ANY movie, will look better the LESS you have to do "in post". To see what I am talking about, rent a movie called (I think) "Duane Roane: First-Time Director". This stars Andy Dick (who normally, I hate). Having been through the process, every time he says, "We'll just do it in post," I about hit the floor laughing.

Lesson #381: Cutaways.
You can never have too many cutaways. You have, say, a scene where a guy is making breakfast for a woman who has spent the night. Say, this is the last scene you are shooting that day and you are behind schedule and don't want to go into overtime, and it is not a long scene so you do it, say, all in one take in a wide shot, maybe three times. When you go to edit that scene, say you see that in two of the three takes you can CLEARLY see the big fat light shining through the glass door to make it look like morning sunlight. So you are stuck with that one and only take that you can't see the big fat light in, which, say, wasn't even the best take that the actors did. But (a) you have no coverage and (b) you have no cutaways, that could have possibly covered the few seconds that you see the big fat light. The CORRECT answer would have been, instead of three takes of the wide shot, one take of the wide, and one coverage of each of the two actors, and a few extra minutes to film close-up cutaways of pouring a glass of juice, scrambling eggs in a pan, a fork moving eggs around on a plate, ANYTHING so you have something to cut to when an actor stutters for a split second or a BIG FAT LIGHT is in the shot.

Another thing that I don't think I have mentioned so far but have thought about/dealt with a LOT, between "Charm City" and "Juju" - make sure you have an Assistant Director. Now, I think that job title is extremely misleading, which is why I didn't have one on Charm City. An Assistant Director does not direct. If an Assistant Director (AD) starts directing, that person is overstepping his or her bounds. That is not their job. An AD keeps things moving, and if they are doing their job well, is often not very popular among the cast and crew. The AD's job is to make sure EVERYONE is where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there, if not 5 minutes ago. They are on the crew's asses to get the lights set up and camera ready, they are on props to have the set dressed, they are on the actors to be in makeup and wardrobe, and they are the one to "lock down" the set (i.e., to tell everyone to shut the hell up when the camera is about to roll).

I tried to do this all myself on Charm City, and it was extremely difficult. To this day I don't know if it was Michelle's idea or if her film crew took it upon themselves, but after the first 4 or 5 days, someone from the crew would pick up the slack and lock down the set, for which I was very grateful. I was so sick of hearing my own voice, and I am sure everyone else on the set felt the same way. As I am editing, I am especially aware of how stressed out I was at the time (which, thank goodness, I wasn't TOTALLY aware of in the middle of it all). It is apparent in my voice, and sometimes when the camera would catch me (Michelle likes to turn the camera on to the crew when we are running room tone), I looked so stressed, and to me, several years older than I am, and older than I look now when the weight of production is no longer on my shoulders.

Lesson, say it with me, learned.

I gotta roll now. Have to finish learning my lines for two scenes I have to do in Steve Yeager's acting class tomorrow. Plus Eric is showing up soon to set some things up to film at my place over the weekend. I used to have so much FREE time in my life before I got into all this. What the hell was I thinking?!? But, I kid... I've never been busier. But I've never been happier. I am finally doing what I believe I was really, truly cut out for, though just 2 or 3 years ago I could never have imagined doing this. It is a pretty awesome feeling.

Zone Issues

Today was very scary. It was the first day of a 2-part "Acting for the Camera" workshop I decided to take at the Creative Alliance. The only acting I have ever done, ever, was in my initial trailer for Charm City. That experience wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, and was kinda fun, but that is largely due to Sean being such a great director, and also I had been writing and rewriting all the dialogue for the last 2 years, so I knew the material inside-out. Today was nothing like that.

The class is taught by Steve Yeager, and one of the reasons I signed up for it is because I have heard his name a lot in certain circles, and I always see him attending or speaking at film festivals and such. Wednesday evening I got an email from him saying I needed to prepare a 2-minute monologue for class on Saturday. I couldn't get anywhere near that on Thursday because we were filming our last (if there is a God) day of pick-ups for Juju. I was meeting up with friends late afternoon on Friday, so that gave me only a couple hours to find or write something and commit it to memory.

At first I was going to do a bit from the movie "Beautiful Girls", when Rosie O'Donnell's character reads her guy friends the riot act about fantasizing about silicone-filled Playboy models and not giving "real" women a chance. It's a good little speech, funny but true, and a movie moment that sticks in my head, so why not? I found the monologue of it online very easily and had it down pretty quickly. Something was bugging me about it, though.

I ran it by Eric via email, he thought it was okay but used the word "feminist". Hmm. Nothing wrong with being a feminist, but those sorts of rants do turn off a lot of people, and I didn't want anyone tuning out due to the content, even if the context was funny.

So I dug a little deeper in my video collection, much of which is old Silver Screen stuff, and I wanted something more contemporary so it would feel more natural. I saw my VHS tape of "Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean." I love this movie, so much so that I also at some point bought the play script of it. I dug that up, too, and started flipping through it to see if there was anything I could use. I found the part where Sissy (played by Cher), the busty and boisterous sexpot of the group, comes clean about a secret that she has managed to keep for three years - she had to have a double-masectomy, and her husband that she liked to brag on so much left her in the aftermath.

I liked this one better for a lot of reasons. Once I started thinking about delivering my monologue from the side of the Director or Casting Agent, the "Beautiful Girls" piece just wasn't good enough. First off, I found it too easily, which to me says it is used a lot. When I attended the Stonehenge auditions (searching for cast for Charm City) in May, there were some monologues that I saw 5 or 6 times that day! When you do that, to me at least it says that you didn't put a lot of thought into your choice, you chose something safe, and you only end up having the casting agent (consciously or subconsciously) compare you against the other people who had the same monologue. And if you weren't the one who did it best, sianora.

Secondly, it didn't have much depth, and no range. Just straight up sarcastic comedy. While the "Jimmy Dean" piece started off with Sissy being very strong, a little angry even, then dissolving in her own vulnerability, but finally coming out on top and being able to laugh about it. It is really hard to find something that packs all that into 2 or 3 minutes! I ran it by Eric, and he liked this one better, too. "People like stories about boobs," he said. "Even when they're sad ."

I searched online and couldn't find it anywhere, so I copied the text from the script myself and got to work on it. I got it down in time for Happy Hour, and woke up this morning reciting it before I got out of bed, and over and over in the shower. I was as set as I was going to be.
So of course we didn't do monologues today. Seemed only one other person in the class got the memo. Oh, well. No biggie. Good practice for memorization.

There are several reasons why I decided to take this class. First off was the opportunity to work with Steve Yeager. Secondly, I felt it would help me with my directing to get the actors point of view (POV, for those of you looking to pick up the movie lingo :) ). Thirdly, I wanted just another taste of the acting thing for kicks, but mostly I took this class to push myself out of my comfort zone, which it surely did.

In almost any situation I am as cool as a cucumber, and in general I feel there's "nothing I can't handle". But my Achilles Heel has always been and continues to be public speaking, and I am determined to get over that.

Day One did push me, a lot. The first exercise we did is what Steve referred to as a "personalization". Just talking directly to the camera for 2 minutes, telling a personal (true) story about something that affected or changed your life. My classmates had some compelling stories, from drug addiction to first loves to near-death experiences. I talked about my father's death. I'll tell you what I told the camera.

My Dad died five years ago, of pancreatic cancer, at the ripe old age of 56. I was able to spend the last five weeks of his life with him. I was often trapped in his little two-room house in Florida, alone, for much of that time. I didn't have a car and relied on my brother to drive me back and forth to the hospice after he got off work every day. The house wasn't walking distance from anywhere, so all I could do all day was eat spaghetti and watch movies and football until my brother came to get me . I got so bored that I cleaned every square inch of the house. And in every drawer, in the closets and cupboards, manila envelopes in his filing cabinets and shoeboxes in his closet, I found Camel Cash - little "dollars" they used to put in every pack of Camel cigarettes. My Dad was a 2-pack a day guy.

I organized and counted them - eight THOUSAND dollars of Camel Cash. That is 160,000 cigarettes. At the hospice I asked, "Daddy, why do you have all this Camel Cash? Why haven't you traded it in?" Dad had gotten things like pool cues, leather jackets, ashtrays over the years by saving up these things. He said, "They started giving bigger prizes. I almost have enough saved for a trip to Vegas."

Of course, Dad never got to take that trip, because the cigarettes killed him first.

At this point in my personalization, both my voice and I were shaking and it was touch and go as to whether or not I would actually cry. But I wrapped it up.

I can't tell you how angry that makes me. But it made me more determined to live my life, the way I had already been living it, the way I will always live it: I don't wait for rainy days. I make things happen. I don't wait for things to happen to me. I make them happen.

That sentiment has everything to do with filmmaking.

Through the whole process of making Charm City, even when I was winging it, I was still in the driver's seat, and I had some great people around me as my safety net, so I was never completely at a loss. Outside of my comfort zone now and then, but nothing like today, standing alone in front of that camera. My voice was not just shaking because I was telling a sad story. I was just a big bundle of nerves.

When I finished my story, Steve stepped from behind the camera to put an arm around me and ask me if I was okay. So I think I did a decent job of being vulnerable. That is not the hard part to me, though. I'll talk about my Dad all day long and I don't care if I cry in front of people when I do. What is really hard for me is to do something in front of people, something that I don't know, and am not good at. THAT, to me, is being vulnerable. We did another exercise where we had to memorize a sort of "public service announcement". That was SO much harder, to me, than just telling a story that I knew. Mine was a "Vote Pro-Choice" commercial, and instead of saying "Hundreds of thousands of women have suffered the dangers of back alley abortions," I kept saying, "Hundreds of thousands of women have suffered the dangers of back YARD abortions." Like it's something you'd do at the neighborhood barbeque. Sheesh.

I felt very hot, like my face was turning very red, and my voice, to me, sounded as shaky as it had on the first test. But when Steve played back our bits to us, I was surprised to see that it didn't look nearly as bad as it FELT. I can't say that it was fun (though I am hoping that by next week it will be), but it served its purpose. I'm determined to conquer this thing.

"What is Past is Prologue"

Architect John Russell Pope placed four monumental statues around the National Archives Building. Each was cut from a single block of limestone weighing 125 tons. Aitken's "The Future" sits on the Pennsylvania Avenue side of the building. The young woman lifts her eyes from the pages of an open book and gazes into the future. Its base is inscribed with a line inspired by Shakespeare’s play The Tempest: "What is Past is Prologue."

Three weeks of "Juju" completed, and we are taking off a week to regroup, figure out the pieces still left of the puzzle, and schedule our pick-up days. Looks like we can get the last of it hammered out by the end of next week.

I have met some great people and great contacts on this job. The Writer/Director, Boyce, is quite a character. He is a perfectionist and refuses to cut corners. Most of the time he seems very serious, but once in awhile he just cracks me up. He is Nigerian, and has this great accent. On the set, Michelle (DP) is constantly asking him if he is happy (with the picture on the monitor, before she shoots it. I have heard him say more than once, "Happy as a LAAHK." It just seems so funny, coming from this big, stoic man! I guess you have to be there, though.

Stayce, the Producer, is a blast. She is the Voice of Reason, but she is also hysterical, and we laugh all day long. Which is a good thing, because the two of us are the ones that really never can have a full day off as long as this thing is still in production. Dealing with payroll, scheduling, location issues, budget, script changes, personnel... it never ends.

The coolest thing so far in this whole experience, though, has been the rewrites. There have been a few scenes we needed to change drastically, and on the fly. I took the liberty of making changes to a couple scenes to expedite things, and printed them up for Boyce, as suggestions. I thought what I had written might at least help figure out how to streamline some scenes or make changes to keep continuity straight, but Boyce liked the pages and kept them as I wrote them, and we shot them. I was expecting the actors to grumble about having to learn new pages in a day or two, but they seemed to like them, too (or else they are just realy good actors!).

Watching this unfold before my eyes was very different than watching my words come to life on the set of my own movie. At first I couldn't figure out why it felt so different, or what it was that felt so different about it. But it is dawning on me, and I suppose what it comes down to is control. It WAS very cool to make my own film and do it exactly the way I wanted to. But I had full control of that project from beginning to end, so of course it was going to go pretty much as I had envisioned it. But this film, "Juju," is not my baby. It is someone else's. And they approved what I did and incorporated some pretty good-sized chunks of my writing into the body of this piece of work. They could have dismissed it, or used part of it, or used only the gist of it, but they used it intact, and it worked. It is a good feeling, and it gives me confidence that I will eventually do what I have set out to do in this business primarily - to write.

The overall experience of being Production Manager on this project has been great, and such an education. I have been at the same hotel management job for going on eleven years now, and in that business for two decades. Hotel management is often crisis management, but I could do it in my sleep. I know I can have a job in this industry for the rest of my life if I want it, and there is some security in that. But there is also INsecurity in that, when you have been doing something for so long, and you start to wonder if you will be restricted to doing that and only that for the rest of your life because you have been doing that and only that for so long. You (and by "you" I mean "I") don't really know anything else, and you don't want to start at the bottom in something else. Between filming "Charm City" and being PM for "Juju," I am reassured that my skills in crisis management have not diminished, and I have been happily surprised at how well the skills I honed in my first career are carrying over into my (hopefully) second. I didn't go to school for hospitality management, and I have worked with and trained a lot of people who also did not and went on to do great things in the business. Often they were (mistakenly) convinced that they would at some point need to get a degree in the field if they were to move up. But I always told them, in the hotel business, you can go pretty damn far if you have three things:

!. Common sense,
2. personality, and
3. a willingness to pay your dues, in advance. In other words, never letting the words, "That's not my job," pass over your lips.

The same rules apply to film production, though more specific aspects of the field (writing, directing, camera work) call for more specific skills. But every day my confidence increases that I can have a successful career in this industry, doing what I was meant to do all my life - to write.

For now, the hotel job pays the bills while I learn the ins and outs of production. Then, soon, hopefully the production jobs will keep rolling in to pay the bills while I get my foot in the door with writing. Once I get my whole LEG in the door, I'm going to kick some ASS.

Table Read

What a great day. This afternoon, the entire ensemble got together for a "table read" of the script from start to finish. I probably should not have scheduled this the day before a holiday weekend, as the people who had to travel the furthest to be here got stuck in DC beltway traffic. But everyone made it.

To call this cast eclectic would be an understatement. Their range in age, ethnicity, and pure style blend together beautifully, and truly capture the diversity that, to me, personifies Baltimore.

Everyone jumped in with their ideas and suggestions to tweak the script. It is important to me that everyone have their say, and take ownership of their characters. The collaborative effort absolutely made the script stronger and funnier. And I think the actors appreciated being asked their opinions, and knowing that their voices were heard.

One of the things that surprised me when I started wedging my way into the microcosm that is filmmaking is how poorly actors are often treated, and how willing they still are to do things for cheap or free. To many directors and producers, actors fall pretty far down on the list of priorities, after gear, locations, and well below film crew. Of course, any of those things can make or break your film. But so can acting, of course! It doesn't make good business sense to treat them like cattle. Not to me, anyway. I don't want to be that director.

Today's reading brought it home to me, and I think to the cast as well, that this is really happening, we are really doing this. And not only that, but we are going to do it very well, and have a great time while working our asses off. We had a lot of laughs today, and the natural chemistry that surrounded the table let me know that the tough choices I have had to make so far were the right ones.

In a nutshell, I could not possibly be happier with the way things are going. Tomorrow I am driving to my secret retreat in the Poconos, to spend the holiday weekend alone (well, I'm taking my dogs with me), rewriting the script to incorporate the changes we made today, and to start plotting out the rehearsal and production schedules. But tonight, I am just going to enjoy the moment, the sweet satisfaction of a productive day, and I am going to sleep like a baby.

In the thick of it

Where does the time go? Whizzing by my head, for the most part. But, lots of progress. It is all coming together.

My Director of Photography, Michelle Farrell, is signed on and already has most of her crew assembled. She is amazing, I am SO happy to be working with her. On the technical side, renting her equipment gives me access to almost every piece of gear you can think of, dollies, steadicam, you name it...and we are going to be shooting in high definition on an HVX, which I am very excited about. I recently went to a production meeting with my script consultant, Sean, to see the latest on his own production he is working on. Some of their footage was in HD on the HVX, some was not, shot on a DVX. What a difference! I was sold.

Michelle knows her stuff, is so easy to work with, and keeps me laughing. I can't wait to actually get on set. Our shooting schedule is locked down, July 31 through August 12.

This week I'm taking another pass at the script. I HAVE to knock it down to 90 pages. Doing the casting calls helped me to recognize the fat I can trim. Trying to get the gist of a scene into a one-page side will do that. This week I sent out longer sides to the actors that are coming in for callbacks on June 8. I hadn't looked at the script for awhile, and I was afraid that if I trimmed the fat, I would be cutting out all the funny parts. But it actually makes it funnier, and a lot tighter.

I am looking forward to the callback on June 8. I have some very talented actors coming in, and I will have some tough decisions to make. Proper casting is crucial to the film. There are no car chases, gunfights, or sex scenes to distract the viewer from mediocre acting. This is a character and dialogue driven film, the actors, and the script, have to carry it.

I'm having lunch Thursday with my other investor. He sent me a tantalizing email a few days ago to entice me to meet him in D.C. - a photo of the check he has for me, for $20K.

Along with Mikey's $10K already in the bank, there is my production budget. Pre- and post- are out of my pocket (and plastic), and will probably total about $20K when all is said and done.

Depending who is reading this, you probably either think that $50K is a boatload of money, OR you're laughing right now. It goes fast, that's for sure. But I have enough to do what I want to do, the way I want to do it. I have some fantastic people around me like Michelle, Sean, and others who are going above and beyond to help me make a quality product. And I keep meeting more of them.

Another filmmaker friend, though I've only known him since January, Is Eric Thornett, of Piranha Pictures. Currently he is filming his latest, a period horror film, at the mansion that I manage. I have seen a good deal of the footage, and it looks AMAZING. This is Eric's fourth feature-length, and I am happy to have him and his crew around, even if it means that when I open my apartment door there may or may not be a headless corpse in a tuxedo sitting by the elevator. I absorb a lot from watching him work and just BS-ing with him and his production team. They are a very fun bunch, and they work very hard. It brings it home to me how important it is to choose the right people to become a true team.

Well, have to get ready to meet an actor that I found outside of the casting call, someone I saw in one of the films Michelle has shot in the past. I average two meetings a day for the rest of the week, plus rewriting the script, and attending the Stonehenge auditions on Sunday. Monday I am off to London for 10 days, to chaperone the theater students from the Baltimore School for the Arts exchqnge program with my friend Matthew's school in the UK, Songtime Theatre Arts. So you won't be hearing from me for a couple weeks, but stay tuned!

Juggling Act

I can't believe it's been 3 weeks+ since I've written. Time is just flying, but that is because I've been super-busy shoring things up. Had the first round of casting calls Monday and Tuesday, they went very well. Found a lot of good people that I will be calling back for round two, but I need to watch the video-taped auditions over again before making any decisions. The camera sees things the eyes don't.

Also close to hammering out a deal with the person I want as my Director of Photography. That is a major key to the whole she-bang and I will feel more grounded when that and our filming schedule is set in stone, or at least wet cement.

Received and deposited my first investor's check a few days ago. I've never held a check that big in my hands before - $10,000. That's a lot of zeros. And a lot of responsibility. But I'm up for it.

People continue to surprise me by offering their services and resources. A neighbor of mine who does hair (though he is devoid of any himself :)) is interested in working on the set, and another neighbor has a collection of classic cars that I am definitely going to take advantage of, including a 1969 Lincoln-Continental Lehman-Petersen Limousine with suicide doors that will be PERFECT in one of the scenes. Just thinking of the production value that these cars will lend the film has me drooling.

Unfortunately, I have to go to Pennsylvania this weekend for a friend's funeral. But after dealing with that I am going to drive to the Poconos and stay a night at my friend Mikey's cabin to clear my head and do some more work on the script. I was up there last week and got boatloads of work done, and took a first pass at breaking the script down into shooting days. Now that in my head, pages = $$$, I am finding it a lot easier to slash and burn unnecessary dialogue that I once was in love with. I need to lop another 10 to 15 pages outta there.

Also have to figure out when and where the callbacks for casting will take place. It is a lot of balls to keep in the air. But I'm really loving it.

All Grown Up (or at least on my way)

Hurray! I did not have to set my alarm clock today. That was nice. And I had a great night's sleep, so I think I am back to normal (relatively speaking).

Quite a weekend. 5:30pm Friday I showed up on set for a short indie called, "The Mystery Date," written and directed by Arlette Thomas-Fletcher, who is also the President of the Women in Film & Video Maryland Chapter. I was recommended to Arlette by Michelle Farrell of Absolute Independent Productions as an AD (Assistant Director). I'm not sure if that was actually my title. I'm not even sure if I'm getting screen credit, I never asked. I probably will. But it doesn't matter. I got what I was looking for from the experience, and that is what is important to me.

Every book I have read and every person I have met in the business has told me the same thing - work on as many sets as you can to gain experience for doing your own work. I couldn't agree more, the experience is invaluable. When it is not your set, when you are not the Big Cheese, you really get a great perspective on the whole process from the inside out. As an AD (or whatever I was) I was pretty much smack in the middle of everything. I took my orders from Arlette directly, I helped to keep the actors and the PAs (Production Assistants) wherever they needed to be and doing whatever they needed to be doing. On this particular production, however, I think my experience was slightly Utopian. Everyone was so pleasant to work with! Everyone was really happy to be there, nobody complained when we ran over (which we did each night), just genuinely nice people and REAL PROS, even the youngest actors who were only 10 and 11 years old and who had HUGE amounts of dialogue.

I was also the Script Supervisor. Now that is no small task. Sometimes I assisted with blocking (which actors move where and when within a scene) but mostly I dealt with continuity and the lines themselves. Continuity, to put it nicely, is a bitch. But for some reason I kind of like it. Continuity is trying to remember every single frickin' little nuance of how a scene was filmed, and then make sure it is done that way again in every following take, especially for the close-ups.

A good example of patchy continuity is a classic, "The Wizard of Oz." Dorothy will be skipping along the yellow brick road, and her hair is tightly curled at the ends of her pigtails. Then they move from the wide shots to the cutaways when she is having a conversation with someone, like the Scarecrow. Close-up on Dorothy, her hair is tight and falls only an inch or two below her chin. Cut to a close-up of Scarecrow for some dialogue. Back to a close-up of Dorothy. Now her curls are loosened and fall several inches further down her chest! Back to Scarecrow. Back to Dorothy. Tight curls again! Many a drinking game has been borne of movie mistakes like this.

So that is the sort of thing I had to watch for. "Cross your legs the other way!" "Put your elbow on that pillow!" "Don't lean in, you're casting a shadow on the other actor's face!" Plus if someone forgot their line, I would feed it to them. Or if it was a scene where it was important they run straight through and I NOT feed it to them (because for whatever reason my voice could not be edited out later), I would have to remember where they screwed up, and try to help them find a way to remember the line correctly.

All in all, I think I was properly prepared for the experience, and approaching it the way that I described in my post a few days ago, like it was a wedding or any other huge event that I have already had plenty of experience doing, served me very well. Some things were a little different, because I was describing that wedding as if I were the Director, which I was not on this set. When you are an AD (or whatever I was), it isn't the lead actors that are your Bride & Groom, it is the Director (Arlette) and the Director of Photography (Michelle). But again, lucky for me, they are both pros and there was no major drama between them. I can see, though, how it could get pretty hairy if you are not in such an ideal situation, because there will always be differences of opinions from time to time about how something should be shot. In the end, the person who wins is the person who is writing the checks.

Friday's shoot was from 6:00pm-12:00am, Saturday's from 8:00am-9:30pm, and Sunday's from 8:00am-9:00pm. You do the math, I'm too tired. But I think everyone involved walked away from that set with a sense of satisfaction of a job well done, the knowledge that they were part of creating something that they can be proud of, and the hope of working with a lot of the same people on other projects in the future. Not to mention a new appreciation of their own pillow.

Rah! Rah! Rah!

I apologize for being a bad blogger this month. The last couple weeks have been sort of tough. Blogging from internet cafes in Paris wouldn't have been much fun, as (a)it would have been quite expensive, and (b) on French keyboards, you have to SHIFT every time you want to use a period! What is that about? It's not like they use periods less often than we do. Makes no sense at all.

I did get some good writing done in France, but I haven't been able to focus much since getting back to the States. I was in a bit of a funk but I am finally pulling out of it. You see, just before I left town I had good news on top of good news. One friend offered to invest $1K in my film, and another friend offered $10K and another friend offered about $25K! Include racking up my credit cards, I'm up to about $50K, half of the $100K I was aiming for! I thought I was on a roll and could not be stopped, and money follows money and the second $50K would be even easier to wrangle up. But that has not been the case. And I think I may have all the cash I am going to get for the film.

Which is a LOT. I have to keep telling myself that. Most independent filmmakers don't start off with a fraction of what I have pulled together. But I always aim high, so sometimes I beat myself up a little.

At the moment, the toughest part isn't even the money, it is being my own cheerleader. While getting away for a couple weeks was good in some ways and great in others, it also gave me perhaps a little TOO much perspective. I'm making a MOVIE. That is HUGE. Just watch the entire list of credits at the end of any given film and try to wrap your mind around how someone pulled that off. It is really overwhelming, and I have been thinking about that too much.

What I need to be thinking about, is that, huge or not, people do this every day. And I am really far ahead of the game when it comes down to it. I have a solid script. It still needs work, but it just keeps getting better, and I am closing in on that elusive "shooting script," the final version that happens when I stop rewriting and decide that that is as good as it gets. I have a good budget, even if it is half of what I was aiming for. And I have wriggled my way into the business and social circles of some very talented local filmmakers who have proved to be a wealth of experience, advice, connections, and support. And on top of that, they are very cool, funny people that I would want to hang out with even if they weren't filmmakers!

I was out to dinner with a very creative group of friends last night, and that is one of a few recent happenings that has refreshed and energized me. Somehow the conversation turned to the subject of tattoos. Only one of the four of us has a tattoo, and I am the only one of the four of us who doesn't plan on getting one. Years ago when I got divorced, I decided I wanted one, just to give my family something to talk about other than my divorce. I also decided I wanted to date a biker, for the same reason. Neither thing happened. My office-mate at the time, Josette, talked me out of the tattoo. "Jeanie," she said, "Think about it. No matter where you put that tattoo on your body, 40 years from now, it's gonna sag." Eww. Needles and blood make me pass out anyway. So, the tattoo was out. And my Harley-man never appeared. Probably all for the best.

Director/Consultant Sean has a tattoo that I really like, though. Just below his elbow on the inside of his left arm is a single word: MAINTAIN. It is a good reminder, and invaluable advice.

Time to get back to work.