AAAAAAAND cut!... and Cutting, Continued

Finished my two-day acting workshop with Steve Yeager at the Creative Alliance on Saturday, and I am happy to say I'm pretty sure I rocked it out. The thing I was most nervous about was the monologue that I was assigned. It was a long piece, probably a good four minutes, and to be honest I wasn't crazy about it at first. But after I read it over about 10 times, the subtleties of it began to surface and I could finally see the meat on it, and the opportunity to show a range.

The great part was that the character started off as being very nervous, as did I! So I OWNED my nervousness. :) By the time I was halfway through the piece, at about the time the character calmed down, I hadn't stumbled once and I knew the rest, so I, too, calmed down, and was able to pull the rest off without a hitch. As soon as Steve yelled, "Cut!" he was laughing, and a few comments from my classmates let me know I had done a good job.

I was talking to my brother, Ted, on the phone last night about it. I told him it was really scary for me to do this, and he said, as most people who know me would, that he would never have guessed that about me. But it is true nonetheless. Through the entire process of making this film, through writing, receiving critique from colleagues and friends, putting myself out there to meet new people and make new contacts, negotiating contracts with crew, locations, etc, auditioning and casting actors, rehearsing with the actors, the whole circus of production, including directing the whole thing, NOT ONCE did my heart beat as hard and fast as it did whenever I had to get up in front of that camera for these past two Saturdays. I can honestly say I have never pushed myself so far outside my comfort zone on purpose.

But I am very glad I did. And by the time we were doing more scenes and exercises after lunch on the second Saturday, I was fine and my heart was only fluttering a bit, not the big, pounding bass drum it had been up until that point whenever Steve would say, "Action!"

My brother asked me if I walked away from the class with whatever it was I had been looking for. I said, absolutely. I pushed my own limits and allowed myself to be vulnerable at the same time. I got to spend some time with Steve Yeager, an award-winning Director and professor at Towson University. I put myself in the actor's shoes, and for that I will be a better director. And of course, I have even more respect for actors than I did before. I certainly wouldn't want to make MY living doing that. It's exhausting. I was emotionally drained by the time I got home, and compared to a regular day on the set for an actor, that class was chump change.

Tonight I am heading over to Charlie's for some more editing instruction. I have about 25 scenes edited, and it is going quite well, though I still have SO much to do, and I am trying to make a deadline now of December 19th to submit Charm City for entry in the Maryland Film Festival. It's going to be TIGHT. But I think I can do it.

Yesterday I didn't get any editing done. But I think I'll go to the Poconos this week and I can do double the work up there, cuz there is NOTHING else to distract me, until Mikey shows up with a box of wine. Yesterday I went instead to Harper's Ferry for the day with Eric, where he tricked me into climbing a mountain, a charge he vehemently denies. But, my blog, so that's the story I am sticking to. He needed some establishing shots there to use in his film, and it was a beautiful, crisp fall day, so why not? I minimized my guilt by listening to CDs of local Baltimore bands to see if I could find additional music for the soundtrack. I found a few things, too, so see, I was productive after all! Hurray for multi-tasking! My car is the only place I can listen attentively to music, and since I live in the building I work in, sometimes I will go for days without getting in my car.

So on top of all of the above, I am trying to schedule two more days of pick-up shots next week so I can close this thing out. Except for one scene I still need with my favorite skinny poet, Al Letson (www.alletson.com). If I don't see him in Baltimore by then, I may be road-tripping to Florida in February to see my brother, and I'll stop in Jacksonville on the way there or back and get the footage I need of Al. The things we do for art!

Gotta get ready for my meeting with Charlie...