Hmm, it is 1:04 a.m. and I can't sleep. That's because my body thinks it is 8:04p.m., which it would be, if I were home in Baltimore. Instead, I am at my other home, in London, at Matthew's.
I really do need to get some sleep. Tomorrow night is Awards Night, the annual awards program for Matthew's theatre (that's "theat-R-E on this side of the pond) training school, Songtime Theatre Arts. For the third year in a row, I will be presenting an award, and with a little luck, for the second year in a row, I will be accepting one, on behalf of the students of the theater department of the Baltimore School for the Arts.
It is a long story...the Reader's Digest Condensed Version is this...I met Matthew Chandler at a New Year's Eve party at his house in London five years ago. I told him I was on the Board of Directors at a theater in Baltimore, Baltimore Theater Project, and we should chat. Six weeks later, I was hosting Matthew and 8 of his best students, and they did a workshop at BTP. In September of 2005 Songtime Theatre Arts premiered their first international production, Willy Russell's "Stags & Hens" at BTP. At the suggestion of Anne Fulweiler, the Managing Director of BTP, we invited the theater students at Baltimore School for the Arts to a performance. And things took on a life of their own from there. It was apparent to Matthew, Donald Hicken (Department Head of the Theater Program at BSfA), and myself that the energy that happened when these two groups of kids collided was something special, and needed to continue. To shorten an even longer story - I am proud to say that the International Exchange Program between the Baltimore School for the Arts Theater Department and Songtime Theare Arts of London is entering its third amazingly successful year.
At last year's Awards Night, I was stunned to find myself on stage, choking back tears in front of over 500 people, accepting the award for Best Production, on behalf of the BSfA and STA, for their joint production of , "The Laramie Project." This year, the second joint production of the Exchange Program, "Elegies," is also up for Best Production. So keep your fingers crossed.
You might be wondering why I am writing about all this on the blog that is supposed to be for my film. Rightly so. But these things are all connected, creative forces bleed into one another. The situation just reminds me that you never know, you never know how the next person you meet may effect the rest of your life. I love introducing creative people that I know and love to each other and then standing back (or standing in the thick of it)and watching what cooks up. I have been witness to some pretty amazing collaborations. But so far, none as great as this.
I have accomplished a lot of things in my life that I am proud of, but being a part of this Exchange Program is simply...beyond words. I can't even talk about it without tearing up. To watch these young people step through doors and have experiences that they could not possibly prepare themselves for, to know that within a span of ten short days, they will come out on the other end a different person, with a cache of knowledge they could not have even known to long for before they absorbed it...I don't know what could be more incredible.
And I don't know if that feeling that I get when I am with these kids can be topped. But it does echo things that are going on with me, and with my film. I have some simply amazing friends that are helping me through this process, supporting me in ways that humble and astound me. And beyond that, I continue to meet new people, people who don't know me from Adam but for some reason are willing to spend time with me, give me their advice and counsel, offer their services and introduce me to more people within the business. So you just never know. Five years from now, perhaps one of these people will be among my closest friends, as Matthew is to me now.
I have never put myself in such a vulnerable position before. That is what is going on here, really. To expose my hopes, my ambitions, my self, to friends and strangers, to brace myself against rejection or even ridicule...only to be met with overwhelming support. I think I may be on to something here. I am so used to being the one trying to connect the dots for other people, it is a different feeling to be, somewhat, at the mercy of others, and find them opening doors for me. But I will happily walk through those doors, and happily thank them. And happily knock on the next one and hope for more of the same.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
The Baby
I managed to get the rewrite done in time to ship off the script to a screenwriting contest right here in Baltimore. The prize money is not a lot compared to some other, large competitions, but to come in the top three would lend the project some good cred and help me make some more local contacts.
I have accomplished a LOT in the last 10 days, some of which I can't go into quite yet. I'm having, "a moment," though. Probably just sleep deprivation with a touch of PMS, it will pass. I have lined up a lot of my ducks in the last week and a half. But there are a lot of them still waddling around aimlessly, and I want them all in place RIGHT NOW!!! But you know how ducks are.
The handful of people who have read the script are all telling me the same good things, and with each rewrite, fewer not-so-good things, so that is encouraging. I've chosen these people carefully, so that I have a broad critique. Some are people I know will look more at the structure than the emotion of the story, my "Mr. Spock"s. Some are cinephiles who see way more movies than I do and therefore have an incredible basis of comparison. A couple are people that I based certain characters on. And some are people in the industry. Those are the people I get the most notes from, as they are the people who know if what I am visualizing in my head will come across on the screen.
Those in the business of making films, whether they are writers, producers, directors, actors, crew, they all use the same jargon, and the phrase I hear most often is, "the Baby."
The Baby can refer to your script as a whole; for example, if you don't produce the film yourself but sell your story, and the people who buy it make so many changes that it is nearly unrecognizable, that's when they, "take your Baby away from you." Or the Baby (also sometimes called "your children")can mean your own(as the person who wrote it) favorite scenes, the scenes or lines that you feel are the funniest or most touching - that sometimes never see the light of day, let alone the darkness of a movie theater. If it doesn't move the story along, it has got to go. Cut it out, chop it up, lop it off.
So that's what I did, one of the many things I did, this week. There was a scene near the beginning of the script that I thought was pretty funny, and everyone who read it thought so, too. But the script was 20 pages too long and this three-page scene, funny or not, was two pages too long. Two of the main characters visit a character we never see again in the film. The cameo character does help set up some of the subplots, so I didn't want to lose her altogether. But in the original version, the audience learns quickly that she is a bit nuts. She says something strange. Then she says something absurd. Then she says something completely delusional. They were great lines! Okay, maybe they were just good lines. But people who read them remembered them, people who read them laughed. I didn't want to do it, but...I could get all the information I needed across in one or two lines and actions, not two pages. So. CHOP, there goes a finger, CHOP there goes a toe, HACK HACK HACK, come on now, the Baby doesn't really need both arms when one will do, right?
And when you are done, you think, "That's it," you think the script is as best as it can be, you think you couldn't possibly cut another line or scene. Unfortunately, this is not the case at all. But you need some time to accept that reality. So you set it aside for a month or so and get some other things done to keep yourself on the path, you wrangle a few more ducks into single-file, you have a couple more people read the latest incarnation of the screenplay, you get more notes...and then you go back and do it again.
The Baby is, indeed, keeping me up nights. I've never had much trouble with insomnia until now. I worry about the Baby constantly. How am I going to pay for the Baby? Will I be able to make sure the Baby is truly mine, will it look and sound and express itself like I would? I know it will be influenced by a lot of factors along the way, and it won't truly be mine alone. But can I keep it from ending up as an ugly bastard? I have met and continue to meet so many people who are being so very generous and helpful with their time, their experience, and in some cases even their cash. I know I am going to meet so many more, it makes me wonder if among these people, one, or more, of them come to the forefront and end up being the person or persons that let me crush their hand in mine and coach me through those little "Hee-hee-hoo-hoo," breathing excercises when it comes time for this thing to finally pop out there into the world.
But as much stress as the Baby causes me, it is already bringing me great joy. People who know me well have commented on this, they see an energy in me that has been dormant for ages. On the days after I'm able to get to sleep before three a.m., I think I might even glow a little bit. Today is not one of those days. The Baby kept me up all night. But I managed to check a few little things off the list today. It's been a big week. I'm going to take the evening off. The good thing about this Baby - no danger of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome :)
I have accomplished a LOT in the last 10 days, some of which I can't go into quite yet. I'm having, "a moment," though. Probably just sleep deprivation with a touch of PMS, it will pass. I have lined up a lot of my ducks in the last week and a half. But there are a lot of them still waddling around aimlessly, and I want them all in place RIGHT NOW!!! But you know how ducks are.
The handful of people who have read the script are all telling me the same good things, and with each rewrite, fewer not-so-good things, so that is encouraging. I've chosen these people carefully, so that I have a broad critique. Some are people I know will look more at the structure than the emotion of the story, my "Mr. Spock"s. Some are cinephiles who see way more movies than I do and therefore have an incredible basis of comparison. A couple are people that I based certain characters on. And some are people in the industry. Those are the people I get the most notes from, as they are the people who know if what I am visualizing in my head will come across on the screen.
Those in the business of making films, whether they are writers, producers, directors, actors, crew, they all use the same jargon, and the phrase I hear most often is, "the Baby."
The Baby can refer to your script as a whole; for example, if you don't produce the film yourself but sell your story, and the people who buy it make so many changes that it is nearly unrecognizable, that's when they, "take your Baby away from you." Or the Baby (also sometimes called "your children")can mean your own(as the person who wrote it) favorite scenes, the scenes or lines that you feel are the funniest or most touching - that sometimes never see the light of day, let alone the darkness of a movie theater. If it doesn't move the story along, it has got to go. Cut it out, chop it up, lop it off.
So that's what I did, one of the many things I did, this week. There was a scene near the beginning of the script that I thought was pretty funny, and everyone who read it thought so, too. But the script was 20 pages too long and this three-page scene, funny or not, was two pages too long. Two of the main characters visit a character we never see again in the film. The cameo character does help set up some of the subplots, so I didn't want to lose her altogether. But in the original version, the audience learns quickly that she is a bit nuts. She says something strange. Then she says something absurd. Then she says something completely delusional. They were great lines! Okay, maybe they were just good lines. But people who read them remembered them, people who read them laughed. I didn't want to do it, but...I could get all the information I needed across in one or two lines and actions, not two pages. So. CHOP, there goes a finger, CHOP there goes a toe, HACK HACK HACK, come on now, the Baby doesn't really need both arms when one will do, right?
And when you are done, you think, "That's it," you think the script is as best as it can be, you think you couldn't possibly cut another line or scene. Unfortunately, this is not the case at all. But you need some time to accept that reality. So you set it aside for a month or so and get some other things done to keep yourself on the path, you wrangle a few more ducks into single-file, you have a couple more people read the latest incarnation of the screenplay, you get more notes...and then you go back and do it again.
The Baby is, indeed, keeping me up nights. I've never had much trouble with insomnia until now. I worry about the Baby constantly. How am I going to pay for the Baby? Will I be able to make sure the Baby is truly mine, will it look and sound and express itself like I would? I know it will be influenced by a lot of factors along the way, and it won't truly be mine alone. But can I keep it from ending up as an ugly bastard? I have met and continue to meet so many people who are being so very generous and helpful with their time, their experience, and in some cases even their cash. I know I am going to meet so many more, it makes me wonder if among these people, one, or more, of them come to the forefront and end up being the person or persons that let me crush their hand in mine and coach me through those little "Hee-hee-hoo-hoo," breathing excercises when it comes time for this thing to finally pop out there into the world.
But as much stress as the Baby causes me, it is already bringing me great joy. People who know me well have commented on this, they see an energy in me that has been dormant for ages. On the days after I'm able to get to sleep before three a.m., I think I might even glow a little bit. Today is not one of those days. The Baby kept me up all night. But I managed to check a few little things off the list today. It's been a big week. I'm going to take the evening off. The good thing about this Baby - no danger of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome :)
Sunday, January 13, 2008
A Lot Like Love
My tranquil weekend in the Poconos has been quashed. The pump at my friend's cabin is broken, so no water. Damn. I had mentally prepared myself all week to be in this uncluttered environment, to have a clear head and fresh air and buckle down and cut and slash and tweak the script. And now I have to do it in mega-distracting Baltimore.
"Paris is never more Paris than in Vienna." That is my favorite Hemingway quote. Sometimes it is difficult to write about something or somewhere when you are in the midst of it. Distance can be helpful for the sake of clarity. It is a lot like being in love.
In more ways than one. I have lost three pounds this week without even thinking about it! That is because my brain is occuppied every waking (and many sleeping) moment. It is easy to forget to eat when I am trying to remember all the people I have to email, the supplies I need to pick up at Staples, the things I have to research online, and, oh, yeah, the changes I need to make to the script.
Also like being in love, it is difficult to get to sleep. I can't stop thinking about the film when I turn the lights off and stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling over my bed. And I find myself waking up each morning about an hour before the alarm is set to go off. Before I open my eyes I am already sketching out today's to-do list in my head.
Of course, there are the moments we all have, when we are in love, when we doubt ourselves: Am I crazy? Is this the right thing for me? Or am I just having delusions of grandeur? But luckily, those moments pass quickly, and don't derail me. I know it is just part of the process, and these reality checks are necessary.
Another necessary evil: Critique. This is incredibly important, but not always fun. The script has been read by several people whose opinions I hold in high regard. Most often they are flattered and excited to be asked to read it. But not so much when it comes time to pay the piper. The exchange is, they MUST tell me what they DON'T like about it. Sometimes this takes quite a bit of encouragement on my part. "Patting me on the back and telling me you love it makes me feel good for a minute," I'll tell them, "but it doesn't help me to make it a stronger script." They understand this and want to help. But it is still difficult to look someone in the eye and tell them what you don't like about something that they created.
I've found this especially true of people I know who are not in a creative field themselves. My artist/writer compatriots have far less qualms about ripping something to shreds. They know the value in that deconstruction and reconstruction, as they have seen their own phoenix rise from the ashes many times. It is simply one part of the process.
Of course in as much as it is not easy for people to give a critique, it is not that easy to hear it, either. But I am getting better at it, to the point where I look forward to them. The hardest part for me is to NOT explain to my critics what it is they, "don't get," about the script. I just have to listen and digest. Explaining a film is like explaining a joke - if you have to explain it, IT'S NOT WORKING. And it is up to me to figure out a way to make the subtleties of the film work, without dumbing it down so much that the audience is bored or insulted. Grrr.
Good lord! It is almost lunchtime and the only caloric intake I have had today was a V-8. And I need to go to Staples and then my friend who has the cabin in the Poconos is getting in on the train from New York at 3:00pm, he is giving me his critique over dinner and drinks. Did I feed the dogs this morning?
Gotta run...
p.s. Charm City the Teaser is online! Go to www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-EsxyU5_a8 to check it out! If that doesn't work, use search words (on YouTube) "charm city jeanie clark teaser independent film" and you should be able to find it.
"Paris is never more Paris than in Vienna." That is my favorite Hemingway quote. Sometimes it is difficult to write about something or somewhere when you are in the midst of it. Distance can be helpful for the sake of clarity. It is a lot like being in love.
In more ways than one. I have lost three pounds this week without even thinking about it! That is because my brain is occuppied every waking (and many sleeping) moment. It is easy to forget to eat when I am trying to remember all the people I have to email, the supplies I need to pick up at Staples, the things I have to research online, and, oh, yeah, the changes I need to make to the script.
Also like being in love, it is difficult to get to sleep. I can't stop thinking about the film when I turn the lights off and stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling over my bed. And I find myself waking up each morning about an hour before the alarm is set to go off. Before I open my eyes I am already sketching out today's to-do list in my head.
Of course, there are the moments we all have, when we are in love, when we doubt ourselves: Am I crazy? Is this the right thing for me? Or am I just having delusions of grandeur? But luckily, those moments pass quickly, and don't derail me. I know it is just part of the process, and these reality checks are necessary.
Another necessary evil: Critique. This is incredibly important, but not always fun. The script has been read by several people whose opinions I hold in high regard. Most often they are flattered and excited to be asked to read it. But not so much when it comes time to pay the piper. The exchange is, they MUST tell me what they DON'T like about it. Sometimes this takes quite a bit of encouragement on my part. "Patting me on the back and telling me you love it makes me feel good for a minute," I'll tell them, "but it doesn't help me to make it a stronger script." They understand this and want to help. But it is still difficult to look someone in the eye and tell them what you don't like about something that they created.
I've found this especially true of people I know who are not in a creative field themselves. My artist/writer compatriots have far less qualms about ripping something to shreds. They know the value in that deconstruction and reconstruction, as they have seen their own phoenix rise from the ashes many times. It is simply one part of the process.
Of course in as much as it is not easy for people to give a critique, it is not that easy to hear it, either. But I am getting better at it, to the point where I look forward to them. The hardest part for me is to NOT explain to my critics what it is they, "don't get," about the script. I just have to listen and digest. Explaining a film is like explaining a joke - if you have to explain it, IT'S NOT WORKING. And it is up to me to figure out a way to make the subtleties of the film work, without dumbing it down so much that the audience is bored or insulted. Grrr.
Good lord! It is almost lunchtime and the only caloric intake I have had today was a V-8. And I need to go to Staples and then my friend who has the cabin in the Poconos is getting in on the train from New York at 3:00pm, he is giving me his critique over dinner and drinks. Did I feed the dogs this morning?
Gotta run...
p.s. Charm City the Teaser is online! Go to www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-EsxyU5_a8 to check it out! If that doesn't work, use search words (on YouTube) "charm city jeanie clark teaser independent film" and you should be able to find it.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Liked vs. $$$
I was folding mountains of sheets at my glamorous day job (managing a bed & breakfast) yesterday, listening to a Liz Phair CD that I had forgotten I had. One line of a song stood out to me in particular:
"It's nice
to be liked
but it's better, by far,
to get paid."
Liz Phair is quite the sage.
That isn't, for me, what it ALL comes down to, as far as making this film is concerned. But it is what MOST of it comes down to.
Dont get me wrong, I absolutely appreciate art-for-art's-sake. My own example: when my brother and I were cleaning out my father's house, after he died of cancer a few years ago, we found (I counted it) over $8,000 - in Camel Cash. Dad was a 2-pack-a-day guy. He was saving up for a trip to Vegas. That's how these cigarette companies get you - they must calculate how many packs will kill you, then double that for the number of Camel Cash dollars you will need to cash in for the big prize, so they never actually have to pay! Needless to say, when my father died, I was pissed. Pretty much at everyone, but no one more so than the tobacco companies. At first I looked at their catalog - I had enough Camel Cash for a stereo. But I couldn't do it. It was blood money.
So I used the Camel Cash to manifest a picture that I saw in my head, in the form of a 5' x 5' painting/collage. I patiently pasted almost one thousand Camel Cash dollars to the canvas, one by one. They formed the waves of the ocean, where my brother and I placed our father's ashes.
I showed the painting in several exhibits, and it generated a lot of interest. But I did not price it. It was not, and is not, for sale.
So, I understand the need just to get something out of your system. And this film is definitely that, for me. But this film is not only about me. It is about all the incredible people that I know in this city, and it is about this incredible city itself. Almost everyone I know that lives here has a love/hate relationship with Baltimore. But almost everyone I know who has moved away, has moved right back. There is something about Baltimore, and it is hard to put into words. Or at least, it is hard to put into words alone. Film, in my opinion, is the combination of all media - it is visual, it is literary, it is music, and it is motion. Overall, it is a rythmic combination of all of these forms of expression. It is a challenge.
It is also a business, and needs to be approached as such. I am as practical as I am creative. I'm not quitting my day job anytime soon. But I am working hard, and more importantly, working smart, towards my next career move.
And of course, oodles of fame and fortune and multiple Oscars. :)
"It's nice
to be liked
but it's better, by far,
to get paid."
Liz Phair is quite the sage.
That isn't, for me, what it ALL comes down to, as far as making this film is concerned. But it is what MOST of it comes down to.
Dont get me wrong, I absolutely appreciate art-for-art's-sake. My own example: when my brother and I were cleaning out my father's house, after he died of cancer a few years ago, we found (I counted it) over $8,000 - in Camel Cash. Dad was a 2-pack-a-day guy. He was saving up for a trip to Vegas. That's how these cigarette companies get you - they must calculate how many packs will kill you, then double that for the number of Camel Cash dollars you will need to cash in for the big prize, so they never actually have to pay! Needless to say, when my father died, I was pissed. Pretty much at everyone, but no one more so than the tobacco companies. At first I looked at their catalog - I had enough Camel Cash for a stereo. But I couldn't do it. It was blood money.
So I used the Camel Cash to manifest a picture that I saw in my head, in the form of a 5' x 5' painting/collage. I patiently pasted almost one thousand Camel Cash dollars to the canvas, one by one. They formed the waves of the ocean, where my brother and I placed our father's ashes.
I showed the painting in several exhibits, and it generated a lot of interest. But I did not price it. It was not, and is not, for sale.
So, I understand the need just to get something out of your system. And this film is definitely that, for me. But this film is not only about me. It is about all the incredible people that I know in this city, and it is about this incredible city itself. Almost everyone I know that lives here has a love/hate relationship with Baltimore. But almost everyone I know who has moved away, has moved right back. There is something about Baltimore, and it is hard to put into words. Or at least, it is hard to put into words alone. Film, in my opinion, is the combination of all media - it is visual, it is literary, it is music, and it is motion. Overall, it is a rythmic combination of all of these forms of expression. It is a challenge.
It is also a business, and needs to be approached as such. I am as practical as I am creative. I'm not quitting my day job anytime soon. But I am working hard, and more importantly, working smart, towards my next career move.
And of course, oodles of fame and fortune and multiple Oscars. :)
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Retreat, re-group, re-write...
Say it with me: THANK GOD the holidays are over! Don't get me wrong, both Christmas and New Year's were pretty darn good, spent with my family and friends having a good time, attending and throwing good parties and collecting some Christmas loot along the way. But I am just anxious to get down to business.
Had lunch today with Director Sean, hereafter known as Consultant Sean. I always look forward to our meetings, though by the time the check arrives, I often feel like my head is going to explode. I mean that in the best possible way. There is just so much information to absorb and it is usually coming at me at high velocity.
I have loads of research to do, but my top priority at the moment is a good overhaul of the script. It has already been through four or five rewrites, plus a lot of tweaking along the way, snippets here and there. But now I have to make some tough decisions, and cut it down by twenty to thirty pages. Some entire scenes and possibly a couple characters are going to be unceremoniously tossed. It is difficult, but it is either do it now, or have the same scenes and characters hit the cutting room floor, after wasting time, money, and film shooting them, when I know they won't make the final cut anyway. Or worse, these superfluous scenes and characters bog down my script as it is read by potential investors or producers, making it even more difficult to get off the ground because it takes too long to get to the meat of the story.
So I am heading this weekend, dogs in tow, to my friend Mikey's cabin in the Poconos. Hopefully the pipes won't be frozen, but I'll be loading up the trunk of my car with gallon jugs of water just in case. It is very peaceful there at Lake Harmony (even sounds peaceful, doesn't it?) and that should lend itself to focusing on the task at hand. So much of producing a film is about what you can beg, borrow, or barter yourself into or out of. Having a good friend who allows you access-at-will to his adorable little cabin in the middle of nowhere so you can get away from the distractions of the city is invaluable. Provided, of course, that no birds of prey snatch Timmy and Max (my Yorkies) from the back yard!
Had lunch today with Director Sean, hereafter known as Consultant Sean. I always look forward to our meetings, though by the time the check arrives, I often feel like my head is going to explode. I mean that in the best possible way. There is just so much information to absorb and it is usually coming at me at high velocity.
I have loads of research to do, but my top priority at the moment is a good overhaul of the script. It has already been through four or five rewrites, plus a lot of tweaking along the way, snippets here and there. But now I have to make some tough decisions, and cut it down by twenty to thirty pages. Some entire scenes and possibly a couple characters are going to be unceremoniously tossed. It is difficult, but it is either do it now, or have the same scenes and characters hit the cutting room floor, after wasting time, money, and film shooting them, when I know they won't make the final cut anyway. Or worse, these superfluous scenes and characters bog down my script as it is read by potential investors or producers, making it even more difficult to get off the ground because it takes too long to get to the meat of the story.
So I am heading this weekend, dogs in tow, to my friend Mikey's cabin in the Poconos. Hopefully the pipes won't be frozen, but I'll be loading up the trunk of my car with gallon jugs of water just in case. It is very peaceful there at Lake Harmony (even sounds peaceful, doesn't it?) and that should lend itself to focusing on the task at hand. So much of producing a film is about what you can beg, borrow, or barter yourself into or out of. Having a good friend who allows you access-at-will to his adorable little cabin in the middle of nowhere so you can get away from the distractions of the city is invaluable. Provided, of course, that no birds of prey snatch Timmy and Max (my Yorkies) from the back yard!
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